Writers
Anissa from #FreeAnissa
I am the Grand Duchess of Slack and I hereby declare this a judgment-free zone. We do not snicker at each other’s meltdowns, breakdowns, blowups or otherwise perceived unacceptable behavior. We embrace it! It’s what keeps us sane and going day-to-day. Plus? It works for us.
After blogging for three years at Hope4Peyton about my daughter’s battle with cancer, I decided that I needed to branch out in the world and launched a new blog called #FreeAnissa to have this space where I could just be me…braless, filterless, myself in all the imperfect glory that is me.
I have a husband, three kids, a dog, a cat and a frog…they’re all just lucky I’ve kept them all alive THIS long, yo.
Dude. I wouldn’t know perfection if it walked up, stole my candybar and slapped me in the face with a pair of week-old dirty underwear. Which it wouldn’t, because it’s PERFECTION, right?
Honestly, the people I appreciate most in my life are the ones who embrace their imperfections. So, I got the idea to launch this site about living in a world where it’s ok to NOT be seeking perfection.
You know what? I found that there are a LOT more of us Aiming Low than I thought. We could totally take the Perfection-Seekers in a street dance-off any day of the week.
AND that? Is fabtastic! Slackers UNITE!…later…maybe after a snack…and Grey’s Anatomy…and a nap.
So, in case you suddenly start to feel overly ambitious and embark on some foolish quest of betterment, make sure you took your meds today, have a cocktail and then lie down. It’ll go away shortly. Listen to mama, she’s looking out for YOU.
In case you just CAN’T.GET.ENOUGH of me, you can catch me over at my personal blog, Twitter or Facebook.
Brittany Gibbons from Barefoot Foodie
I have spent the last 2 years writing over at Barefoot Foodie, which can best be described as the cesspool of the blogosphere, mostly consisting of my incoherent and inappropriate ramblings about eating, drinking, mothering, having sex and blaspheming. It’s pretty much the proudest my parents have ever been of me, and worth every penny of my English degree that I pay in student loans every month.
In an effort to take my underachievement to a whole new level, I decided to extend my quarter life crisis and love of four letter words, social paranoia, low cut shirts, crap tv, and oversharing to this gem of a site, so I can be with “my peeps,” and keep things, you know, like, “real.”
Anyballs.
I’m super excited to be here! I mean, not excited enough to pause America’s Next Top Model or, like, put pants on, but, I am about as excited as one can get when they live on Pepsi and spend the day twittering in their own unshowered filth.
Did I mention how hot I am?
When I am not judging you behind your back, running around barefoot with my kids, eating my weight in chicken wings, or drinking you under the table, I can be found at my home, Barefoot Foodie, or on twitter, or on facebook.
Heather from The Spohrs Are Multiplying
There once was a version of Heather that wouldn’t have been a good candidate for this website. That Heather’s goal in high school was to appear on as many pages of the yearbook as possible (Senior Year? 43 pages!), a quest that lead her to join the choir, softball team, key club, diplomats, and mathletes (um, what?) among other random clubs, all while bossing people around as student body president. In college, she decided to cut back on her extra curriculars, and instead finished in three and a half years with a major and three minors.
Then she graduated, moved to the beach, and tended bar for a year. She realized that overachieving wasn’t as fun as sleeping until noon.
After bartending, she working for a record label as a dream killer. That job took her to New York City where she spent a year mastering the subways and perfecting her New Yawk accent—helpful when dealing with bathroom attendants. When she felt that karma started to turn against her, she moved back to California and got a job with the Los Angeles Baseball Team of Los Angeles. Then she got laid off.
Now Heather is a wife and mother living in West Los Angeles. She runs a non-profit started in memory of her daughter Madeline, Friends of Maddie. She received some really nice kitchen gadgets for her wedding, but she views them more as decorative items (her Kitchen Aid mixer makes a great display for the fruit she never eats!). Her husband hopes someday that she’ll make good on her alleged abilities to cook and bake. Hope floats, Mike.
If you want more of Heather (because let’s be honest, she’s never going to write here two times per month), you can find her at her personal blog The Spohrs Are Multiplying, reviewing things at Hot Mom Reviews, or helping the families of critically ill babies at Friends of Maddie. She also twitters and stalks her doctors on facebook.
Maria from Mommy Melee
Maria had a small meltdown just after her 28th birthday. She got pregnant with her second son, quit her office job, and turned to the Internet for HALP. Demonstrating a stunning lack of forethought, she choose a blog name that approximately 12% of the population knows how to pronounce. You can find her blogging about motherhood, her vagina’s zany misadventures and her not-so-secret woobie love for her family at Mommy Melee.
After graduating from the University of Florida in 2002, Maria did what most English majors do. She disregarded everything she’d learned and jumped world of Internet marketing, web copywriting and digital media. She’s been blogging since 2001, back when the cool kids were all on Livejournal. (If by “cool kids” you mean “kids who dress up in anime costumes.”)
Between juggling a handful of part-time jobs from the squishy comfort of her couch, Maria writes for Girl Talk Thursday and SeXis Magazine. She also reviews stuff for parents and kids and ladies at Your Mama Reviews. Join her on Twitter and you might be graced with a Twitpic of an anthropomorphic boner.
Angie from A Whole Lot of Nothing
I’m a self-proclaimed Lazy Perfectionist with a blog named A Whole Lot of Nothing. That pretty much sums up why I write for Aiming Low.
A good day for me starts after 9am, I find clothes out of the laundry room, it continues with DVRd shows to watch as I Twitter, and ends with clean towels in the linen closet. A normal day would be up at 8:30am, lucky to find clean undies, watching Noggin shows with my girls making a mess, and ends without a shower.
I do not cook. I do not clean. I do not claim to be any sort of housewife other than the kind that succeeds at surviving the day with semi-happy children. I am lucky enough to have a husband that understands my low-achieving lifestyle and suffers through my inadequacies.
My accomplishments in life include my two girls, an abnormally high knowledge of crap TV shows, my semi-successful online store, Good for the Kids, and I somehow earned a Master’s degree along the way.
Web store: Good for the Kids
Blog: A Whole Lot of Nothing
Twitter: @alotofnothing
Facebook: http://facebook.com/AngieLynch
Tena from My Therapy
You can find Tena from My Therapy in her journey to discovering what’s next. Recovering “do-it-all” mommy finally realizing that this thankless, breakneck, under paid job of stay at home mom may not be for her after all – just 11 years, 4 kids, loss of youth and firmness and many an identity crisis too late. I’ve served my time keeping up the image of doting soccer mom, chauffeur, room mother, cop’s trophy wife and have come to the realization that perfection is tiring. My kids are all toilet trained, fed, and semi-literate, essentially, my job here is done. I now spend my time watching reality TV and trying to compose a theory for how long it is acceptable in society to go without a shower.
Blogging has become my outlet for the good, bad, and the bitchy. It is my way to become reacquainted with the woman that went missing 14 years ago as the first time-suck emerged from my loins – the only one that was illegitimate, by the way.
I am an obsessive compulsive cleaner, a lover of profanity, the target demographic for wrinkle cream and Botox, grammar Nazi (but ironically, the author of run-on sentences), people pleaser, and pop culture maven – I have issues. Escaping my husband and reality one word at a time or 140 characters by irreverently sharing random thoughts that should be contained to my Xanax-laced cranium.
Amy from Hearts Into Home
Little did I know that meeting Anissa would be one of the highlights of 2009! We sat together during a conference session (we Canadians are always in demand at blogging conferences). She said I smelled nice. Tweeted it, in fact. The rest is history.
This year my husband Graham and I became parents to our first baby, Nathan. Needless to say, like all new moms, motherhood has provided me with many high and low moments.
When I’m not on maternity leave, I’m a full-time work-at-home editor who spends the majority of her days working in her pyjamas. My writing has appeared on such sites as You Grow Girl and The Daily Grommet. I blog about my life with Graham and Nate, our two crazy cats Farley and Rudy, our never-ending home renovation projects and growing food and flowers over at Hearts Into Home. My Twitter handle is Amy Urquhart.
Laurin from Laurin Evans
Once I rid myself of highfalutin’ ideas like “I won’t let my kids watch TV” and “my children will view me as the moral and spiritual authority in their lives” I have been a lot happier being a stay-at-home mom to my 6 year-old twins. Now, I’m falling short with less guilt and have a lot more time and emotional energy for important things, like Twitter and secret sale sites.
I started a blog last year while I continued to recover from my first career, practicing law for 10 years. In retrospect, this was a bad way to convince my tech-impaired husband that I now work from home because saying I’m blogging and tweeting all day sounds to him like Internet dating.
But, I was a happy baby blogger experiencing the wonderment of the internets until my blogging partner dumped me for a real job. I can still be found at LaurinandKellyTalk.com, only it’s just me, all alone, posting random crap. Talk about aiming low. I am obsessed with fashion – why else would you read US Weekly?- and talk about it at BasicCloset.com. I am also obsessed with pop culture and quality television programming, so I’m in good company here, if a bit intimidated since I was not featured in Bewb Fest ’09.
My legitimate credits are tweeting for the Tampa Moms Like Me site, and freelance writing, lately for a local Tampa Bay magazine, Go Momma. Making this tiny amount of money keeps my husband off my back about what I actually do all day. But, just the same, let’s not tell him I’m here writing about my love of white t-shirts and my devotion to reality TV.
Jen from Jenbshaw
My name is Jen and I have the attention span of a gnat. I think the other girls clearly missed the point of this Aiming Low thing by writing fantastic bios, either that or they just really are that fantastic while I’m equally lame. Anyway, because I really do aim low, instead of getting a book jacket worthy bio you are getting a bullet point list because that’s how I roll.
- I’m 27 years old. I have two children, my son Chase and my husband Ryan. I live in Missouri and no you cannot hear the banjos, at least not from my house.
- I have been blogging since February of this year, I’ve been stalking reading blogs for about 3 years.
- The first B-grade I ever got was my Junior year of college in an Honor’s English class, go figure.
- School is the only thing I’ve ever really exceeded at (see above).
- I have a degree in Graphic Design and I’m basically incompetent at it, meaning I faked my way through college – yay me!
- I spend way to much time on Twitter and reading blogs, like all day.
- I curse, a lot. However I will most likely never write about sex so there is that.
- I am famous for incomplete and run-on sentences and I constantly misuse punctuation. English and grammar are not my strong subjects.
- I am a stay at home mom but I don’t cook or clean. I know, right. My husband is one lucky fucker, huh.
- 95% of what comes out of my mouth is sarcasm, unfortunately for me people only “get it” about 60% of the time. Clearly its them, not me.
You can find more of me on my blog Jenbshaw or on Facebook but if you really want to find me look on Twitter (like I said short attention span – 140 characters is sometimes too much for me)
Ali from Cheaper Than Therapy
I’m Ali. I have spent the last 5 years using my blog, Cheaper Than Therapy, as, well, a substitute for actual therapy. I’m a little bit Midwestern (I come from the land of beer and cheese…mmm…cheese and I love the Green Bay Packers). I’m a little bit Canadian (I watch hockey and wear toques and drop the occasional “eh”). I’m a little bit Georgia Peach (why yes, I DO say things like “bless your heart”).Until a few weeks ago, I lived in Suburban Toronto with my full-time editorial job working for a children’s book publisher, my three crazy kids, my one crazy shih-tzu (who eats my shoes and my underwear), and my husband of 11 years. We gave that all up to take a Martell Family Adventure (Clark W. Griswold style) to live – WITH MY PARENTS – in Atlanta. And it’s not just so I can drink Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and shop daily at Target. Well, maybe it is.
I like pop culture and watch more crappy tv than you do, I promise. I like sarcasm and Dentyne gum and Neutral Milk Hotel and Swedish fish and flossing and pie. I don’t like eating things that swim or the zoo or drinking wine or Drew Barrymore’s lisp or getting wet or when people tell me to relax.
I’m not funny. I laugh when my children tell me that they hate me. I sometimes have disturbing dreams about Joe Jonas. I occasionally misuse proper punctuation on purpose. If I haven’t scared you away, you can find me waxing poetic on Cheaper Than Therapy, waxing Canada on Canada Moms Blog, waxing celebrities on Juice: Entertainment News With Extra Pulp and waxing complete nonsense on twitter.
Mishelle from Secret Agent Mama
If Mishelle had the balls to do what she wanted to do, way back in 1992, after graduating from high school, she’d probably not be here. She’d probably be some highly paid photographer in New York City or Los Angeles or Paris. Sure she might have a blog, but it would probably be one of those photo blogs that a million and forty-seven people comment on. Oh and she’d probably have workshops and all kinds of tutorials available for download, for a nominal fee–of couse. If Mishelle had the balls to do what she wanted to do, way back in 1992, you wouldn’t be so lucky right now.
Contrarily, Mishelle conformed to her parents high hopes of becoming a doctor. Alas, it wasn’t in her spirit to do so, and she spent countless hours smoking Newport 100′s, playing Gin Rummy, and drinking Mountain Dews in the student center of the expensive college her parents sent her to. Then she learned about the internet. Then she met a long haired, stoner in a telenet chat. The only thing Mishelle had the balls to do in the mid 90′s was to tell her parents she wasn’t going to school anymore because she was getting hitched. There were rumors of pregnancy. There were rumors of an elopement. All the rumors were false. Mishelle just wanted to lay around and smoke pot and have sex. What? She was repressed. Take it up with the parental units, please.
She’s still married to the telenet chat dude. He grew up and got his hair cut and after some job turbulence became a pilot. And Mishelle? She popped out four kids, lost touch with herself for a few good years, and then in 2005 when she started writing in an online weblog she started to find herself again. In 2007 she unleashed herself in the blog-o-sphere and really blossomed as Secret Agent Mama. She has since reclaimed her writing spirit. She’s also redeveloped her photographer’s eye; coming full circle she has gone back to her roots as a portrait photographer. Mishelle Lane Photography opened for business in 2009, and there’s no stopping her or what she can and WILL do. She’s got the balls now. She’s grabbed them and she’s running with them.
Blog: http://www.secretagentmama.com
Pro Site: http://www.mishellelanephotography.com
Twitter: @secretagentmama
FaceBook: mishelle.lane
Shauna Glenn of ShaunaGlenn.com
Hello, and thank you for stopping by. If you stick around long enough, you’ll probably hear me say the word vagina (but only really positive things about it) and you’ll also learn about my sick fascination with midget porn. I have never actually watched midget porn, but in my head it’s hysterical. I don’t know why I think this is so funny—and neither does my therapist.
I am an author, columnist, blogger, and mother to four children (yes 4!) and spend a lot of my time saying, “Ethan, please stop licking the dog!” My therapist says it’s totally normal for a four year old to behave this way, but that it’s not OK for me to.
My life is crazy, my will strong. And by strong you understand what I mean is that I drink lots of Pinot Grigio.
Most days you can find me on the Internet, blogging about my husband’s Neanderthal ways, my kids’ personal vendetta against me, and the plight of the vagina (and not necessarily in that order). I also write a monthly column called Parental Guidance Suggested in Fort Worth Texas magazine. My first fiction novel, Heaping Spoonful, came out in July 2008 and is available on Amazon or at Barnes and Noble. In fact, if you buy my book, I’ll give you one of my kidneys, but only if you presently don’t have one. Oh yeah, that’s another thing about me—I’m a giver. You’re welcome.
So what do you think? You totally love me, right?
You can find me on Twitter: @shaunaglenn
Or my website: shaunaglenn.com
Metalia of Metalia
Hi there. I’m Metalia, a left-handed, 29-year-old former gymnast with no rhythm whatsoever…seriously, it’s just sad. I love fashion, all manner of shiny, pretty beauty products, and have no qualms about approaching you to ask WHERE YOU FOUND THAT SKIRT MY GOD IT IS ADORABLE. I live in New York with my husband, my son, and my daughter, where I am accosted by deranged hobos on a near-daily basis while making my way into lower Manhattan for work. If you ever wanted to know what it’s like to delay an entire subway full of people because a homeless person is demanding to pet your coat, pull up a chair, pal, because I CAN TELL YOU.
My love of cheese, avocados, and assorted salty snacks is the stuff of legend, as is my abject hatred of the complete works of Charles Dickens. I not-so-secretly love embarrassing 80′s-era Crap Rock (Scorpions, anyone? No? Just me? Okay, then.), and could watch the Food Network and/or Tyra Banks shrieking about the elusive quality of “fierceness” all day long. As you might suspect, I have a bit of a pop culture fixation, which I nurture by writing epic-length rap sagas about Twilight, and actively ignoring Actual Important Things, like running, balancing my checkbook, or cleaning off my Clothing Chair of Doom.
I firmly believe even the worst of days can be exponentially improved by seeing: a) a man with a serious handlebar mustache; b) a spontaneous football end-zone dance; or c) my kids holding hands in their car seats. Simple pleasures, man…I’m all about them.
I can also be found here:
Personal blog, Twitter, BeautyHacks.
Amy from Ask Amy Lo
Amy Lo is your bestest friend on the internet. She has a curvy bod and isn’t afraid to use it. In college, she majored in Polymer Science and minored in Drama, but the jury is still out on if she actually attended any classes. Amy once saw Joan Cusack in Dunkin’ Donuts and cried. She’s sensitive like that. Amy isn’t above feeding her children food from a box, but also recycles and gives her kids organic fruit. Her idols are Elizabeth Taylor, Brenda Walsh, Kate Gosselin, and Mother Teresa.
Amy knows that sometimes you have to put in your best effort, and sometimes good enough is good enough.
You can follow Amy at Twitter or friend her on Facebook. She’d like that!
