Most women I know have dieted, are dieting, or plan to diet. I mean, I can’t be the only one that has to lose twenty-five pounds by this Saturday.
Why Women Aren’t Funny
I hear a lot of nonsense about how women aren’t funny. In fact, it’s actually a joke I often make myself. You see, I like my humor dry (and shaken, not stirred). See, when I think about spending the afternoon with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, I think about how dull and dreary it would [...]
Britain: No Place to be Pretty, or Successful
There has been a recent media storm in the UK. It surrounds a bold woman who wrote an article in one of the daily tabloid newspapers, declaring that her life has been difficult due to her stunning beauty. The newspaper in question is renowned for printing material that provokes a knee-jerk reaction and this story [...]
Dear Daughter, Please Watch This
The thing is. For real. It doesn’t matter to me. If you’re liberal. Or conservative. A Republican. Democrat. Libertarian. Undecided. Independent. Once upon a time, if you were a woman, you couldn’t vote. Not because you had to go pick up your kids. Or had to work. Or make dinner. You couldn’t vote because you [...]
Open Letter To Adele’s Attending Physician
Dear Doctor of Adele: First off, let me congratulate you, esteemed Doctor, on being the professional privy to one of the world’s most beloved performers in the past one hundred years. What an honor, you must be so secretly proud. How I have come by this information is of no matter. There is an issue [...]
He’s Sexy and He Knows It
There are fundamental differences between men and women. Some are obvious, like having a penis or a lack thereof, while others are subtler. But there are definite nuances that separate the people of Venus from the people of Mars. Here are a few signs that you might be a man:
Feminism NOT Someone’s Thing? Seriously?
Years ago, I sat in the ninth circle of hell, a.k.a a “training session.” A young woman in her early 20s moderated. “Tomorrow, we have SoAndSo speaker, they’ll be discussing the evolution of the feminist movement in the Blahblah room.” She then rolled her eyes and continued, “I mean, I’m not a feminist or anything, [...]
The Problem With Women
Dear Females of the Human Species, It has been brought to our attention that there are several faults with the WomanKindBody500. We apologize for these problems and assure you we are doing everything in our power to rectify these faults in our newer models. We urge you make the following changes to your WomanKindBody500 to [...]
Channeling Niki de Saint Phalle
As summer hits its stride you might be saying to yourself, “Self, let’s have a garden! Full of color and excitement, just like Martha would do!” But after all that a garden means begins to sink in, you might respond to yourself, “Self, gardens are so iffy, and by iffy, I mean a lot of [...]
Channeling Annie Oakley
Here’s a little medicine to dose what is ailing you. Today I have an Rx for your ennui, an instant bullet of firepower to help you kick the ass that needs to be kicked. What you need, puppylove, is to channel Annie Oakley. Oh hell yes.
