A Conversation with My Scale

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Health-o-Meter Digital Scale: Long time, no see. Me: Yeah, whatever. Just give me the damage. Health-o-Meter Digital Scale: … … … Me: Hello? Health-o-Meter Digital Scale: I’m still thinking… it takes awhile to count that high. Me: Shut up. Are you finished yet? Health-o-Meter Digital Scale: Maybe I’d be able to think better if a.) [...]

Winter Dieting is Stupid

Winter Dieting is Stupid

It is officially the end of February? How many of your New Year’s resolutions have you kept? That’s what I thought. I’m willing to bet that at least one or two of you out there resolved to take some of your holiday weight off this year, and I hate to break it to you but [...]

4 Steps to Make Your Goals CUTE Like You

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About those New Year’s Resolutions: if you’re anything like I was when I was a teenager, you’ve thought about the past year and have made some decisions about how you’re going to make 2012 better. I always made some solid resolutions, but didn’t really make plans for how to accomplish those resolutions. I’ve figured out some things  over [...]

My Super Secret New Year’s Diet

This Shake Weight was used for kissy-face self-portraiture only. No body fat was harmed.

I ended 2011 lighter than I started it, and since I’m feeling especially benevolent after a week spent sobbing over the end credits of “It’s A Wonderful Life” and eating Rolos like I’m re-enacting that scene from “I Love Lucy” when Lucy and Ethel work the chocolate factory assembly line, I’ve decided to share with [...]

4 Ways to Drop Five Pounds Fast!

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So you’ve tried the South Beach diet, the Mediterranean diet, the Tomato Soup diet, and your best friend’s herbal diet pills but you’ve still got a five pound splooge sitting on your belly? I am here to help, girlfriend! Why deprive yourself of food or get all sweaty when there are so many super simple [...]

Life Lesson 4397: Don’t Keep A Skinny Mirror Next To Your Refrigerator

I may have quit smoking and drinking, but a healthy muffin top and a lumpy butt have moved in to take their place.

Shazbot.