I love my mom. Really. I mean, she allowed me to feed off of her like some sort of umbilically-attached succubus for a few months while I grew into me. When I kicked her in the ribs or sat on her kidney, she didn’t slap me through her stomach. She didn’t even complain about the…
Tag Archive: wedding
Dirge of the Bridesmaid: Part 1
About a year ago, I was a bridesmaid in my brother-in-law’s wedding. The weeks leading up to the event were filled with a mild sense of apprehension on my part. I was honored to be included, but the vision that the bride-to-be painted for her big day made my non-girlie-girl knees shake. I was sure…
Too Fat For Saturday
My best friend in the entire world is getting married on Saturday. I’m really excited about her wedding, even if it means wearing a bridesmaid’s dress that cuts off my air supply. I realized last week that I hadn’t even tried on my dress since before I got pregnant. It was then that I also…
We Can’t Even Get Married Right
Laef and I have been married for 3 months. I think. We have been checking the mail every day for the past 2 months in hopes that our marriage license will arrive and we can let out the final sigh, that, yes, despite some flaws (booking two limos, for example) we are in fact married….
From LA To New York With Love
By the time this post is published I will be drunk with a slice of New York pizza dangling from my non-manicured fingers. I will have successfully pulled off a dance routine to Lady Gaga’s Poker Face with my new husband as our first dance, and it will be questionable as to whether my mother…
