TLUI – (Thanksgiving Leftovers Under the Influence)

Schaefer_turkey

It’s the day after  Thanksgiving, which means quality time has been spent with family. “Quality” being a relative term. We’ve all got coping mechanisms – like hitting the sauce.  And I’m not talking cranberries. When the blessed sound of Aunt Edna’s muffler scraping the pavement on her way home hits your eardrums, on go the [...]

The Gluten-Free-Free Thanksgiving

Ah, Thanksgiving. Oh, what will I ever eat? There’s the gravy that’s thickened with cornstarch and turkey that can’t be stuffed with delicious stuffing, and the vegetables must be broccoli and, if my memory from last year is correct, no way in hell can there be macaroni and cheese. Unless that macaroni is hand-pressed from a virgin and is delivered by [...]

MU Teen: Thankfulness

thankful thanksgiving

As Halloween ends and November rolls around, we begin to think about Thanksgiving; but sometimes, our minds jump right to Christmas. It does not help that the stores give us this impression by putting some of the Christmas stuff out the day after Halloween. But sometimes it’s nice to take a minute to stop and [...]

Thanksgiving Tradition

Basket of Fruit and Pumpkin Pie

Where I live, it’s beginning to look a lot like Thanksgiving. Not really–it seems most retailers skip right over Thanksgiving and go straight for your wallet with Christmas–but still, Thanksgiving is just around the corner, which means I’ve been writing for Miss Unlimited for over a year now! That’s is most definitely something to be [...]

BLACK FRIDAY (Coming to a Theater Near You)

5 stars

Movie Synopsis: The carving knife is stabbed in the turkey carcass without care. Even before the scarlet cranberry sauce has made its way through the guts, shoppers forego tryptophan-induced comas to run the bloody gauntlet of over-stocked shelves, long lines, and rickety-wheeled carts. Their only enemies are each other; evil lurks down every aisle. It’s [...]

Thankful For

Crooked Smile

Thankful for the crooked front tooth that makes the smile that often fills my face less than perfect but no less charming.

How to Make a Holiday Martini

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Ah, the holidays! I can see it all now: The turkey on the table, the stuffing steaming next to it. The laughter of small children as they run around the table. Chuckles filling the air as Uncle Bob tells the annual story of how Uncle Pete once fell off the roof pretending to be Santa. [...]

10 Things I’m Secretly Thankful For But Won’t Say Out Loud

#5: The physical flaws of celebrities

There is no moment I dread more on Thanksgiving than the round-table sharing of what each person is thankful for. I dread this for two reasons: (1) if I open my mouth everyone will see that it is already full of stuffing and (2) I am thankful for a lot of superficial shit.

Day of the Plunger

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Have you ever wondered why there aren’t more Thanksgiving songs? Maybe this photo explains why. I dedicate this song to those individuals who dedicate themselves to overeating to the point of physical discomfort each Thanksgiving, able to put out of their minds the lesson they should have learned from the year before. And the year [...]

15 Things to be Thankful for this Thanksgiving

cheese so good it does not need refrigeration

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and so I recently sat down and thought long and hard about the things that I’m thankful for. As I near the end of my fourth decade on this earth, I realize that I’ve got a healthy happy family, a good job, no hemorrhoids, and the opportunity to write [...]

How Aiming Low saved our Thanksgiving

With a name like Domestic Extraordinaire you would think that my house is always clean, hot meals are on the table every night, and that I look forward to making every holiday meal. You would think wrong.