Nothing. Everyone knows parents don’t get a vacation in the summer. The end. I KEED! I mean, sure, we did stuff but it wasn’t all glamorous and cool and stuff like some of the kids I know (Greece, Paris, cruises, cross-country trips. WHAT. EVER.). We’re more of the “cheap and easy and the least…
Tag Archive: summer
An Open Letter to Rompers
Rompers, I saw you on the street today. A woman was wearing you. You were orange, and strapless, with a not-insignificant boob ruffle. I glared at you as you passed, but you didn’t notice. Then again, how could you? You were too busy multi-tasking. While I have never tried it, I’m sure that manifesting as…
Play With Your Food: 5 Edible Ideas to Beat the Summertime Blues
You’re a Mom. You’re over scheduled, overwhelmed and under caffeinated. The last thing you need to think about is coming up with interesting, elaborate meals for your ungrateful family who never seems to appreciate the gourmet meals you slave over for them. Unless you’re one of those over achievers and your family eats every last morsel of…
Cable Outlet: The One Thing My Kids Would Sacrifice Food, Air and a Virgin Cat For
Should psychologists ever use my children to reassess Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, their findings would conclude that cable television should be added alongside air, food and sleep as essential human needs. In fact, it may actually outrank food and sleep, given the children’s eagerness to forgo both if it means feasting on just one more…
Channeling Esther Williams
Dang, it’s hot. Not “it’s getting hot in here” good kind of hot, but “I have underboob rivers” kind of hot. Not good at all. Desperate (summer) times call for desperate measures. There is only one solution. Grab your flowered vinyl swimcaps, ladies and gentlemen, we are going to channel Esther Williams. Who, What, Huh?…
July 2011 Horoscope for Low Aimers
Summertime, and the living is easy! So this is cool–we’re starting the month off with a partial eclipse of the sun on July 1st even though we just had one in June! It’s like we’re Buy One Get One Free Extreme Couponing with our astro energies! And, also, Free at No Additional Charge, we have…
Summer and the Slacking is Easy
Until January of this year, I was homeschooling my kids. Please… don’t pat me on the back for being Super Woman. I mean, you can… but after I tell you about our daily habits, you may not picture me in the cape and jeggings. I always liked the idea of teaching the kids at home…
Bad Toemance, or How To Let The Dogs Out For Summer Without Frightening Anyone
There are many wonderful and life-affirming things about the onset of summer. Al fresco drinking, for example, and backyard barbecues. The annual recurring fantasy that white jeans are a good idea. The onset of freckles that–if you avoid the annual ladymag parade of horrifying melanoma photos printed under headlines like “What’s Your Skin Cancer Fate?”–seem…
