The Timeworn Tale of the Sick Mother and the Children Who Didn’t Care.

spices reedster aiminglow

I spent Friday feverish, throat like a Brillo Pad, dreading the moment the kids would come home. I heard them enter, my husband shushing them with a “Mom’s sick! Let her sleep!” The door squeaked. I sensed little faces staring at me in the dimness of my shuttered bedroom, their breathing like stage whispers. My [...]

Poop Happens

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This post may make some people uncomfortable, unless you have children. If you have children, you are completely immune to any and all things uncomfortable. My boys had a mild stomach bug this past week. I foolishly thought I was not going to catch said stomach bug, but I was wrong. Last night after dinner, [...]

Open Letter To Adele’s Attending Physician

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Dear Doctor of Adele: First off, let me congratulate you, esteemed Doctor, on being the professional privy to one of the world’s most beloved performers in the past one hundred years. What an honor, you must be so secretly proud.  How I have come by this information is of no matter.  There is an issue [...]

Cough, Cough, Cough

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This is my doctor’s office. I know, I know. I told Dr. Von Gingivitus she needs to freshen up the place a bit. A new coat of vomit yellow paint, a proper examining table (a mechanical bull is kitschy and cool but not terribly comfortable when someone is trying to take a peek at your [...]

The Suburban Cholera Poser Ramble

I might have cholera

I have been really sick since Monday.  Like “stomach problems” sick. In fact, I’m not totally sure what cholera is, but I think I might have it. Can you get cholera in the suburbs? Cholera in the Suburbs. I think I may have just stumbled on an award winning book title there. Do they give [...]

He can open any jar I give him, but a cold knocks him flat.

Have you ever had to deal with a sick man? One with whom your relationship required that you provide sympathy and/or caregiving? I can hear you groaning from here, so that is obviously a yes. There are a few wonderful, capable men in my life – husband, brother, friends – but I swear, even a [...]

An Aiming Low Guide to Being Sick

A recent weekend brought me a little allergy attack that resulted in a scratchy throat. No biggie, right? I happened to be overnight camping (in cabins with heat and bathrooms, you know, ROUGHING IT) with my daughter’s Girl Scout troop and a plastic covered mattress, the sleeping bag sliding on the plastic covered mattress, the [...]

We be illin’

astroglide2

You know what I really hate (besides racism & being the victim of a dutch oven)? I really hate being sick. I am still getting over one of those nasty, viral head colds that make you feel like a big, phat, monster turd. For awhile there I seriously thought my head was going to burst [...]