Early Retirement?

If you have to get old, you might as well do it with pizzazz.

Winter seems to be going on forever around here. The dog is dragging his wiener every time he goes out for a pee, and I seem to be shoveling more of the salty slush that the plow keeps throwing in the driveway. It’s a constant barrage of melancholia and it’s really taking it’s toll on [...]

Valentine’s Gift Guide for the Non-Romantic.

Photo credit: Justin Ficklin

Valentine’s Day insists on coming again this year and it vexes the non-romantic among us. For example, me. I hate flowers. They die. I might as well take two twenty dollar bills out of my wallet and fling them out the window of my minivan. They’re labor intensive. You get them thrust at you and [...]

Snowed In

A portion of the 50 vehicle accident a few miles from our place.

You may or may not know this, but I am a big fan of date nights. It’s true, I absolutely love having a night alone with my beautiful lady. What you might not know about me is that every two weeks, I get a date weekend, and I love them even more. This weekend was [...]

Gird your loins: V-Day is coming!

prom

Valentine’s Day is coming up faster than you’d like to believe. Although I have a general distaste for Hallmark holidays, I’m gonna tell it to you straight: if you’re in any kind of relationship, you need to know what the explicit expectations are for this holiday of lurve. At my house, I make meatloaf. No [...]

Everything You Need to Know in Life you Can Learn from Dogs

Me? ME? Certainly not. It was the...dog.

I’m a dog person. Scratch that, I’m the Crazy Dog Lady. I’ve often maintained I like dogs more than people. WHAT? It’s true. I have good reasons for this, naturally. You can learn everything you need to know in life from dogs. Like how to act like decent human beings. Don’t believe me? I’ve prepared [...]

Are Relationships All We Have?

small__5793272532

One of my friends, named Hungry Joe, died about a year ago. He was one of the most brilliant (maybe the) men I have ever met. He was afflicted, most likely, with Aspergers. He had a difficult time communicating except through metaphor. For years (and I mean over a dozen), he slept on rooftops in [...]

You Say Aphasia, I Say To-Mah-To

medium_2650826701

I like to think I’m a hands-on parent. Somewhere between absent and hovering. In an attempt to “participate” in my children’s “upbringing,” I sometimes look over their shoulder to see what they’re watching on their various devices. Shockingly, the 16-year-old and the 14-year-old find this annoying. The 9-year-old, however, STILL LOVES ME, and willingly participates [...]

Moving In

SONY DSC

The great thing about buying a house is finally living in it. The actual act of moving isn’t so great. There are too many boxes and too much heavy lifting. You have to organize, pack, and clean. Then you have to clean and unpack and organize some more. If I were Martha Stewart maybe I’d [...]

What Happens After the Happily Ever After

medium_8302554334

The movie is over, the couple walks away in the sunset hand in hand. You put down the crumpled up wet tissues that you were using to wipe away the happy tears. You walk away feeling good, love is grand! We’ve all watched these movies, read those books. I know I have. But, have you [...]

When Your New BFF Doesn’t Know She Wants To Be Your BFF Yet

medium_5487409751

So, you’ve met this mom at 5:30 a.m. CardioPump, and she’s wicked funny and laughs endearingly with her hand over her mouth when the breast-implants-bought-on-a-girls-roadtrip-to-Mexico nasty neighbor up front hits herself in the face with the hand weights. When you see that your new crush’s travel mug reads, “Yeah. I said it. So What,” you [...]

Broken Hearts Club

medium_132922595

Once upon a time, there was you and the love of your life. Every day with them felt like a dream. They made you so incredibly happy. The smile on your face, at the mere mention of their name, could light up an entire city. Then, one day, they decide to go and break up [...]

On Husbands and Alarm Clocks

jenwithgirls

So, what is it with husbands and alarm clocks? Specifically, husbands incessantly slapping the snooze button on said alarm clock? At least one of my friends has a husband who suffers from this same affliction (I know your dirty secret, Kev). Yes, I realize ladies are just as capable of this horrific habit. But I’m [...]