Toddler or Puppy?

happy butt 3

I awoke Saturday morning to my 13-month-old screaming and my husband yelling for my help. He wanted to get up early with her so I could sleep in; however, she had other plans. He couldn’t figure out what was wrong and why she was throwing such a fit over a diaper change. This wasn’t the [...]

The Pass, the Pot, and the Cup

Daygo

My son is two. To me, there is no need to be up in arms that potty training is not going so well. While yes, it would be going better if I were a little more…helpful. But, I’m ambivalent. Daddy asks him repeatedly, “Do you need to go to the pot?” I just randomly check [...]

9 Real Life Kid-Tested Vacation Tips

2006-08-19 - Road Trip - Day 27 - United States - Utah - Zion National Park - Sign - Males - Bathroom - Clean

About 10 months ago, our family drove from Seattle to California. We had a fantastically raucous road trip, and loved most every minute of it. However, there were some basic road trip rules that my kids failed to absorb. If I were to write a book of road trip tips for my small boys, it [...]

Just Try To Top My Potty-Training Story

underwear

I was dinnering with a group of newish mom friends recently, and the topic turned–as it so often does with mothers who are sharing a nice meal–to urine and feces. They were sharing their anecdotes about potty-training their children and were trying to outdoodoo one another with their horror stories. I sat quietly, a faint [...]

12 Rules to Live By, According to Two Small Boys

Two Small Boys and Me

Recently, a small member of our family may or may not have swallowed a Lego and given us all a good scare and a trip to the emergency room. This event (whether or not it happened) may have inspired a lengthy conversation about ”good rules to live by.” “Legos are for building, not for eating” was tactfully left [...]

Arguing After Kids

arguing after kids

Before I had kids, I was a skilled and logical debate opponent. There wasn’t a position that I couldn’t successfully support – my husband didn’t stand a chance. My side of the argument would include impressive, whip-smart moves like: 1. Thoroughly disagree with point spouse made about President Bush’s speech on blah blah blah! (Remember this was before [...]

Selected Scenes from A Nightmare on Poo Street

diaper.sexy.shirt

People with older kids tell me that while it seems like my kids will be in diapers forever, one day I’ll look back and it’ll be a distant memory. They’re probably right, but as my kids approach their third birthday, with very little interest in depositing their fecal packages anywhere other than on their ass [...]

I Don’t Ask About Your Toilet Habits So Back Off My Kid

terrifying toilet is terrifying

  When did it become acceptable for one complete stranger to ask another complete stranger if the latter’s toddler is potty trained? Take the other day in the grocery store. I ran in to buy a few items when the (complete stranger) nice older lady checking my groceries asked, out of the clear blue, if [...]

Get This Potty Started

I have previously expressed my incredulity here and elsewhere at the idea that my kids will learn even more stuff about becoming real human beings than they know now.  They have already gone from screaming little wriggly red balls of unfocused panic to tiny proto-people who can walk, jump, dance, feed themselves, utter a handful [...]