As the mother of a preschooler, I can tell you many things about Hello Kitty. I can tell you that she lives in London, is in 3rd grade, and has a twin sister named Mimmy. I cannot tell you the one thing my daughter desperately wants to know about Hello Kitty—why she doesn’t have a [...]
Though it may seem like the end of the world to a teen who flunks his road test, it’s not. It’s a parent’s job to get him back up on that horse, and try again as soon as possible.
An epic stomach virus landed on my door step yesterday. It was so awful I crapped my pants. Now, it’s not everyday that I consider where I stand on the Garanimal scale, but there I was begging and pleading for snaps between my crotch and an adult pullup for relief. Later, after the not-so husband [...]
My son is two. To me, there is no need to be up in arms that potty training is not going so well. While yes, it would be going better if I were a little more…helpful. But, I’m ambivalent. Daddy asks him repeatedly, “Do you need to go to the pot?” I just randomly check [...]
There are a few things that I’m really good at, like making cocktails, procrastination and talking to kids about sex. The last thing on that list is surprising given that my own mother never talked to me about sex and the only thing she ever said that could be construed as “The Talk” was “Don’t worry [...]
The same week my nine year old daughter was excited to get money from the tooth fairy she started asking me serious questions about something I’ve dreaded since the ultrasound tech told me I was having a girl: boobs. Let’s go back a bit here… I grew up a tomboy raised by a single father [...]
When you are newly pregnant for the first time, your OB-GYN will present to you with benevolent open arms, much like the Shroud of Turin, the pregnancy bible What to Expect When You’re Expecting. After receiving this book at our first preggers appointment, I would bet my twenty-five dollar tube of Clinique smokey-kohl eye liner that [...]
Today I realized my kid was bitten by the snack zombie. AHHHH, SNAAAACK! So, I threw some yogurt covered pretzels at her and ran. Ran for my damn life! Because, if I didn’t, she’d be back for more. And more. And, did I mention, more? If I called dinner a snack, she would eat it. [...]
Video killed the radio star when I was a teen. Using a BlackBerry PlayBook you could see that video on a crisp app with your buddies, then email it to all your friends after posting it to your Facebook wall. This is the “cyber baby” generation. Age has very little to do with the term. [...]
A week or so ago I thought I’d take a ride And soon Ms. Fanny Bright Was sitting by my side. Her: Hey mom, do you know the third verse to Jingle Bells? Me: No. Her: I KNOW MORE ABOUT CHRISTMAS CAROLS THAN YOU DO! Me: No, you don’t.
So you want to have a baby but you don’t have sperm. Maybe you’re single. Maybe you’re married but your husband can’t/won’t put out. Maybe you’re queer like me–my lady lover has no sperm count at all! Whatever your reason, sperm is out there and it’s yours for the taking. I can’t give advice about [...]
My son is a baby-obsessed freak… which I find absolutely adorable. He has always loved babies and I encourage his nurturing side. I’m not the type to discourage things just because it may not be a “boy thing to do” and he does have his big sister’s influence. It is just one of those things [...]
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