Before I was lucky enough to have children (SHUT UP) I thought I knew it all. I saw how my parents and other relatives parented and thought, “I’ve got this.” I also had lists of things I’d never, EVER do when I was a parent. How completely stupid naive I was. Look, I was a [...]
As I’ve mentioned before, my children fight a little bit. They try to play together but, at 10 and 7, they have very different interests and abilities which makes it hard for them to agree on an activity. There are no kids on our block for them to play with so, when they play outside, [...]
I was fully prepared to introduce myself and my 2 month old son with a snooty post about how he is basically the best baby in the world. Right when he became 5 weeks old, he started sleeping through the night in his own crib. I obviously took full responsibility for his behavior and began [...]
I shouldn’t be glad he hit the baby’s head against the stove. Maybe glad isn’t the right word. Smug might be more like it. We give Ryan his baths on the kitchen counter, you see. We do this because my back cannot handle the low tub with the high side. I tried it a few times and spent all of bath [...]
Fifteen minutes away from school with five minutes until a golf practice that’s twenty minutes away from school. “Late” wasn’t even really where I was. I was in a place called “panicking over being late for golf practice.” I kicked myself in the butt for choosing a school that didn’t emulate a fast food joint [...]
The other day my kid and I passed the Speedo guy as we were driving to the playground. “Is that the guy who wears the Speedo?” I said. My daughter started to laugh. “Hheh, yeah mom. Eww.” “Mr Creeps,” I said, “that’s what we should call him.” Mr. Creeps is, well, creepy. He clears the [...]
I collect vintage children’s books. Not just one or two, but entire sets. I have collections full of perfect examples of the child-rearing practice of the time; finger wagging teach-you-a-lesson tales of what can happen when children don’t behave. I showcase these volumes front and center in the kid’s reading room downstairs. They’re fun to [...]
I was a “latch key” kid. There was a club for us at school. We learned survival skills: don’t open the door for strangers, don’t tell people you’re home by yourself, don’t use the stove, and, God, you miserable children, you’re so brave surviving the sad reality that your mother is not at home like she’s supposed [...]
If you have ever seen National Lampoon’s Vacation, you are aware of the dangers inherent in a family road trip. Fortunately, we’ve never had to strap a dead relative to the top of the car but road trips do come with their highs and lows. Recently, my partner and I took our kids to Kansas [...]
I dread Mondays. Aside from the usual end of the weekend blues, Mondays are the days I have to spend digging my house out of the Sunday MegaWarehouse bulk shopping my husband does.
Last week I plunked down a cool $27 to see Titantic in 3D. This is a movie that I already own and have seen three times in the theater. And also watched in Spanish on Telemundo. Just in case: it still sinks, and I don’t even speak Spanish. Too soon?
Quinn starts most mornings with 2 bananas. Starts. She’s 19 months old. It sounds excessive because it is. I understand that as the adult in these transactions, I should impact and change this ritual of gluttony. But you see, I can’t. She demands, “‘NANA’! More NANA!!” with an increasing hostility that makes me dread her entry [...]
<a href="http://www.blogher.com/announcing-blogher-12-party-plan?conf=478218" title="Come As You Are Party"><img src="http://freeanissa.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/2012_CAYA_125_Going.jpg" alt="Come As You Are Party"/></a>
