I am not ok.

There I said it.

Lately, I am just. not. alright.

I realize that usually we are a funny bunch here at Aiming Low but, I just don’t have it in me.  In a perfect world there would be sunshine and rainbows and all kinds of funny spewing from my mouth all the time, on demand.  Good thing we aren’t about perfection here.

As our mission statement clearly states; “Here at Aiming Low we strive for anti-perfection. It’s not about the failure to attain perfection….it’s about understanding that perfection is not only over-rated, it’s a big fat whopping lie-burger with cheese…and fries…and onions.” I’m feeling down in the dumps, scared and tired.

I just feel overwhelmed at everything going on in my life.

My husband has been working out of town (but at least I have a husband who adores me).

Money is so tight right now (but we are way better off than some and clearly we did it to ourselves).

Part of my family is drowning in a family feud (but the other part, wow are they great).

My dad is sick (but he’s still here).

My baby is sick (but he’s here).

The suckiest part (Dear spellcheck: suckiest is too a word!) is that I feel guilty for whining about it at all. Not so long ago I would have pushed all these icky feelings down deep in my stomach and put on a happy face. For a long time I wore a constant mask of “happy put-together and strong”.

Not anymore. My problems may not be the worst ever but they are mine and I struggle with them. I don’t have to hide my ugly feelings or put on a brave face all the time. I know that the rough stuff will only make me more thankful for the good stuff.

So, yeah, today I don’t have much funny in me but that’s ok.

My life isn’t perfect and neither am I.

I am ok with that.