Top 5 Huffington Post Slideshows I Clicked Through in 2013 While Waiting for My Kids.

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It’s the end of the year and that means I’m going all “best of” list on your asses. The typical top 10 topics are out. I saw exactly zero movies last year. My Spotify playlists are frozen in the 1990s. I could make lists of things like “Top 10 Reasons I Yelled at My Kids [...]

You Might Be An ADD Mom


As usual, I was standing in the shower when I had an idea. An awful idea. A wonderful, awful idea. No, no I’m not going to steal Christmas, that’s been done. I was thinking of how you know when you’re an ADD Mom and wife. I think I qualify (I’ve been diagnosed and everything!) So [...]

My Top 7 Non-Sexual Fantasies

Eat it, Channing Tatum!

1. I have a private salon in my home, staffed entirely by sassy middle-aged women with big hair who chew gum and gay men who enjoy bitching about Gwyneth Paltrow. Every morning, they shampoo, condition, and style me while we discuss the previous evening’s new TV episodes and eat scones. 2. Circumstances conspire to make [...]

Lies I Tell Myself That (Probably?) Don’t Hurt Anyone


I sing better than Zooey Deschanel. Okay, maybe not better, but at least less like my uvula got stuck in the rusty needle of an old Victrola. If I hadn’t torn those fake snakeskin pleather pants during a rolling keg stand through the science center sophomore year of college, they would still fit. 4 bottles [...]

How To Buy a House

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My husband and I are trying to buy a house. I say trying because I don’t think obsessing over real estates sites and then sitting around on our butts really counts for doing anything at all. Real estate is my latest procrastination tool. Gee, I really need to update my blog, but first I need [...]

The Poop Detective


Unemployment isn’t all eating chocolate and watching Ellen in my pj’s while I wait for a job offer. It’s actually pretty damn depressing, especially dragging on as long as it has. After awhile you begin to wonder if all of your past experience is worth anything anymore. After pondering how I could really put my [...]

Daily Awesome 01/01/13

I know it’s the new year and all, and hopefully you did all your Christmas shopping, but just in case you didn’t, I wanted to offer up some things you can skip buying. Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva offers us her 3rd Annual Horrible Gifts for the Guide, and really, it could be subtitled [...]

Top 10 Things I’ve Learned From People Magazine

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Who doesn’t have a guilty pleasure addiction to People magazine? Just a glance at the headlines, and you’re a better person for it. Here are my Top 10 Things I’ve Learned From People Magazine: 10. An “onlooker,” “insider,” and “gal pal” are all people with much to say. I’m not sure why famous people still [...]

6 Things I Want For Christmas, but Won’t Get


I’ve been working on my Christmas list for weeks. There are two versions. The one I sent to my parents was full of books that they can easily order from my favorite indie bookstore. I’m treating you to the secret one here today—the list of things I really want: 1. World peace Yes, I am [...]

First World Closet Problems


For a striking example of First World Problems, I submit, Exhibit A: The Walk-In Closet. More times than I can count, I have stood amidst shameful racks and stacks of clothing, muttering to myself, “I have NOTHING to wear!” Nothing, no thing. No swathe of material that I deem appropriate to place over my body [...]

A Guide to Parenting Like It’s the 1970s


Time travel is not yet possible but that doesn’t mean we can’t travel back in time through our parenting. Let us go back to a simpler time, a time when parents didn’t worry so much about how their children would turn out. Just for a day…let’s imagine the ease of parenting in the 1970′s and [...]

20 Random Bits Of Wisdom


There are so many things I want to tell you, little bits of wisdom that are, in themselves, life-changing, but not all of them require an entire post. Yet I would be remiss if I didn’t share them because they are important. Here are 20 random truths that I’ve discovered over the years, things that [...]