A week ago, Joseph’s school sent a letter home reminding parents of Staff Appreciation Week. While I do appreciate his teacher and the staff at his school, I didn’t actually receive this letter from my ex until today. Three days prior to the event. Three days during which I’m also throwing Joseph’s sixth birthday party and [...]
I have a bad habit of eating like a garbage disposal. It makes perfect sense, waste-wise. It’s a natural chain of events— a simple formula: whatIcookfortheboys – whattheydon’teat = easymealsforme
An epic stomach virus landed on my door step yesterday. It was so awful I crapped my pants. Now, it’s not everyday that I consider where I stand on the Garanimal scale, but there I was begging and pleading for snaps between my crotch and an adult pullup for relief. Later, after the not-so husband [...]
Forget the luxury vacations, $25,000 sunglasses and ridiculous shoe closets to house collections of Louboutins. For me, the real perk of being a Real Housewife would be having a driver. The top 10 reasons I would love to be driven around: I would never again have to play Rock Paper Scissors with my husband to decide [...]
I find making deals with myself goes a long way to justify my life choices. It’s a good system for those of us who want to use our better deeds to justify things like ice cream and naps.
In every house, there is a dark and scary place. It is a place full of secrets. It is a place where one should never venture nor even dare to look, especially not at night. I’m speaking, of course, of that terrifying forgotten space under the bed. What lies under the bed is the stuff [...]
Every morning as I get off the train, I make a conscious effort to empty my pockets of garbage. This is a more arduous task than you would expect. It is also a critical step in me not contracting the bubonic plague. For, you see, were I not to empty my pockets regularly I would [...]
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and there are tons of adorable, glitter-y, do-it-yourself Valentine tutorials making the rounds on the internets. I’m all for handmade but I know that a LOT of us just don’t have the kind of time to cut out doilies and get glitter all over the damn place. So, [...]
It’s my birthday today. Yup. I’m going to be 29 again. I’ve been turning 29 for six years now. Lots of time to get the perfect 29th birthday planned. First, I’m going to read though the journals I kept as a teenager and laugh at my angsty teenage self. This will allow me to feel [...]
I love getting holiday cards. I love seeing how big your kids have gotten or where you have traveled this year. I like seeing pictures of your new houses. I even like the cards that just have festive holiday artwork because it lets me know you were thinking of me. But please don’t wait by [...]
I shave my chin. No, I AM a woman. See that little icon up there? It should confirm to you that–well, it’s pretty tiny so you can’t see much of anything, but one thing is for sure: I know you have chin hair too. Whether woman, male, or combo. Chin hair does not discriminate. But [...]
For Christmas I would like to not put out. I haven’t baked a cookie, wrapped a present, and I’ve barely shopped. My stellar case of laze might as well follow me to the bedroom this holiday season. But there is another person involved here: my Not-so Husband. Yeah, no means no. But there’s nothing like [...]
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