Ah Spring Break! When I was a teacher, I looked forward to it. Three months without any break to speak of and a week off was more than welcome. Now that I’ve been a stay-at-home/work-at-home parent for more than ten years, I have changed my tune ever so slightly. My kids have some, errrr, challenges. [...]
Twin A sits on the stairs and “reads” an instruction pamphlet to her friends “Duck Duck” and “Baby Bat,” pointing at the illustrations and asking, “Now what happens?” Twin B lolls around with her polar bear on some dog towels out on the deck, wearing the swimsuit she’s worn for the past four days–backwards, because [...]
I dread Mondays. Aside from the usual end of the weekend blues, Mondays are the days I have to spend digging my house out of the Sunday MegaWarehouse bulk shopping my husband does.
Last week I plunked down a cool $27 to see Titantic in 3D. This is a movie that I already own and have seen three times in the theater. And also watched in Spanish on Telemundo. Just in case: it still sinks, and I don’t even speak Spanish. Too soon?
Though it may seem like the end of the world to a teen who flunks his road test, it’s not. It’s a parent’s job to get him back up on that horse, and try again as soon as possible.
My biggest fear, as a geeky mother, is that in my geekalicious arrogance I will fail to keep up on the latest technologies employed by kids and teens, thus falling dreadfully behind and becoming completely unaware of the dangers lurking in the digital shadows.
Two kinds of professionals make me nervous: teachers and cops. In the interest of my not getting arrested, let’s talk teachers. In the seventh grade, I had a history teacher that dictated the outline of each chapter of our American history book while also writing it on the blackboard. Like this: I. Causes for the American [...]
A letter to my children from beyond the grave.
The same week my nine year old daughter was excited to get money from the tooth fairy she started asking me serious questions about something I’ve dreaded since the ultrasound tech told me I was having a girl: boobs. Let’s go back a bit here… I grew up a tomboy raised by a single father [...]
When you are newly pregnant for the first time, your OB-GYN will present to you with benevolent open arms, much like the Shroud of Turin, the pregnancy bible What to Expect When You’re Expecting. After receiving this book at our first preggers appointment, I would bet my twenty-five dollar tube of Clinique smokey-kohl eye liner that [...]
Today I realized my kid was bitten by the snack zombie. AHHHH, SNAAAACK! So, I threw some yogurt covered pretzels at her and ran. Ran for my damn life! Because, if I didn’t, she’d be back for more. And more. And, did I mention, more? If I called dinner a snack, she would eat it. [...]
<a href="http://www.blogher.com/announcing-blogher-12-party-plan?conf=478218" title="Come As You Are Party"><img src="http://freeanissa.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/2012_CAYA_125_Going.jpg" alt="Come As You Are Party"/></a>
