Siri’s My BFF


I’ve actually developed a co-dependency on the robot voice that inhabits my phone. When I got hold of that bundle of verbal joy, I was all over it. I’m pretty sure Siri and I bonded immediately. I’m always asking her questions.  Stupid ones.  Some are the ones I’ve heard going around: Me: Where are the bodies buried? [...]

Phantom Phone Pain and the Unplugged Monday


What happens when you are without your iPhone for over 24 hours?

10 Overrated Things I’ve Waited In Line For


Today is the first day to buy the iPhone 5. Most likely there will be news coverage of the throngs of people camped out in front of Apple stores waiting to get their hands on the new “it” phone. It seems to me that the end of most long lines are anti-climactic at best, which [...]

How to Turn a Simple Bowl Into an iPhone Speaker

iPhone speaker trick

While doing dishes and refusing to wear earphones one afternoon, I discovered how to amplify my iPhone’s volume with the simplest technology of all: a bowl.

Before Our Phones Were Smart


Frequently, I find myself wondering how life was conducted before there were smartphones. This is particularly troubling as I was alive at a time when they did not exist. I didn’t have a cell phone to myself before college. Prior to that, I shared one with my dad and sister for emergencies only. Before that, [...]

From Zero to Addict in 24 Hours

Look. I have used both "poo" and "dung". Heh. I told you I was predictable.

My friend and personal trainer is one of those people that plays Scrabble on her phone all of the time. Yesterday, I finally made the mistake. I asked her who she plays against. Whoever she knows that has the Scrabble app. What? I have the Scrabble app. I’ve been playing against the computer. I didn’t [...]

Which Smartphone Is For You?


There are three main contenders in the smartphone (i.e. cellphones that are basically little bitty pocket computers! Joy!) market for you to choose from. So when your two-year contract is up, and your cell phone company gives you a free “upgrade” (with another damn two-year renewal), what do you choose?

Schmutzie’s Top 10 Tips For Better iPhone Photos

me and my iPhone

I once mocked people who took their phoneography seriously, but no longer. I love it, baby, and there’s no turning back, so let me tell you some of the things I’ve learned along the way.

I’m Holier Than Thou, You Ungrateful Narcissists

This is me being holier than thou.

It’s kind of hard to tell, but this is me wanting all the best for the next generation.

Buck up, young narcissists, because it’ll get far worse than this before it gets better.

EZPZ: Digital To-Do Lists

Comic by Toothpast For Dinner

I’m not sure about you, but I love to make lists. Actually, I love to cross things off of my lists. I also get a lot of email. Tons. Hundreds upon hundreds of emails a day and, unfortunately, many of them have what GTD-ers like myself call “next actions.” You don’t have to subscribe to [...]

How to Turn Sloth Into a Creative Project That Cleans Your Floors

The next time you hear someone talking about sloth like it is some kind of deadly sin, don’t listen to them. I, Schmutzie, a person who once used embroidery thread as dental floss for several days rather than leave the house, managed to finish two whole tasks while doing little more than rolling around on the floor and using my clicky finger.