Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and there are tons of adorable, glitter-y, do-it-yourself Valentine tutorials making the rounds on the internets. I’m all for handmade but I know that a LOT of us just don’t have the kind of time to cut out doilies and get glitter all over the damn place. So,…
Tag Archive: humor
Wifely Duties
There are many things that I, as a wife, despise doing. Oh, not that, you perverts. That’s actually rather fun and counts as exercise–so it’s basically like hitting the jackpot. I’m talking about far more dastardly deeds than just doing The Deed. I’m talking about dreadful, heinous acts that I perform for my husband. Things…
That MacArthur Genius Grant Can’t Get Here Soon Enough
I’m a smart person. Mostly. There are times, however, when I wonder how I am able to function without harming myself or others.
The Big Sister Influence on Little Brothers, With Blackmail to Prove It
My son has always been a happy and smiley boy. His first smiles were huge, infectious and almost goofy. I knew right away that he was going to be an outgoing kid who would no doubt keep me on my toes. No one can make that boy laugh (and cry!) the way his big sister…
Just When You Thought Your Mom Had Settled into Her Senility
I love my mom. Really. I mean, she allowed me to feed off of her like some sort of umbilically-attached succubus for a few months while I grew into me. When I kicked her in the ribs or sat on her kidney, she didn’t slap me through her stomach. She didn’t even complain about the…
Apathy For The Devil
I don’t like to consider myself an apathetic person. I mean, who wants to be all, “What up, Bitches? I’m LAZY.” Not me. That’s who. But in the process of hosting my very first party in five years, I realized something–I’ve gotten disgustingly apathetic. The old me is shaking her head right now as the…
Feeling Like Robert Downey Jr’s Father
I watch the morning scene unfold, my eyes filling with tears as I hang my head guiltily. The children and I stand together, unified in our love for their father, as he turns the kitchen upside down, slamming cabinet doors, whipping through shelves, tossing contents aside as he searches for any amount of it. Mom….
Ways I Know Your Fur Baby Isn’t a Real Baby
Everyone knows someone–heck, you could be that someone–who thinks that the family pet is actually the family baby. It’s not just childless couples, either. I know one family with four kids–a daughter and three cats. I gotta admit, I think they’re kinda weird. Trying to get all the cats into a family photo is fun…
