Zumba: The New Jazzercise

Group_Zumba

If I had known signing up for Zumba would be so humiliating for my daughter, I would have done it months ago. I have such fond memories of clenching my butt cheeks alongside my unitard-clad mother to Jane Fonda videos in our living room, so I honestly thought my teenager might want to take the [...]

That One Time Ambien Almost Got Me Into a Three-Way

ambien

Do you suffer from a lack of restful sleep? Are you a parent? Are you an adult with responsibilities? If you are, you have probably experienced bouts of insomnia. It’s either trouble falling asleep–due to the ever-growing list that lights up your wall as you try to turn off your brain at night–or trouble staying [...]

Anorexia is for Losers

Anorexia, eating disorders, No Anorexia, beauty

Does the photo above frighten you?

Strength of the Stallion

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My wife wants me to take supplements because apparently I’m not quite the stallion I once was.

Infectious Fun

Woman Blowing Nose

Flu season is upon us. Still, there is no reason why we can’t take this dreaded season and find the fun in it. Right? As someone who is writing this post while enjoying a good battle with influenza, I thought I would share some fabulously fun activities to keep you occupied while you recuperate. Please [...]

World Exists Outside of The Internet?

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Everything I need is right in front of me in screen form, so I had no reason to even take interest in the rumors I’d recently been seeing posted on blogs, tweeted on Twitter, updated on Facebook. The 2D people I knew online were hinting at something special. There was secret talk, Facebook status updates [...]

4 Ways To Get Your Mojo Back Like A Beast

hibernating bears

If you’re anything like, oh, everyone else besides Martha Stewart and Mrs. Claus, then at some point over the holidays you lost your mojo. Whether you wrapped it up and gave it to charity by accident or whether it’s sitting in someone’s freezer baked into a fruitcake they’re planning on re-gifting next year, the damn [...]

Periods. (Yours – Not the Two in This Title.)

That's not me, but geez, do I know that feeling.

I finished the equation I was working on, and then went to use the bathroom. I was minutely startled but largely unimpressed to discover that my first period had started. “My period started,” I said flatly to my mother. Even at the age of 11, I understood why this was such an exciting event for [...]

4 Ways to Drop Five Pounds Fast!

please read the fine print

So you’ve tried the South Beach diet, the Mediterranean diet, the Tomato Soup diet, and your best friend’s herbal diet pills but you’ve still got a five pound splooge sitting on your belly? I am here to help, girlfriend! Why deprive yourself of food or get all sweaty when there are so many super simple [...]

Serial Monogamist

You always remember your first. I was in Italy and was nervous, but a friend told me about her first time and I felt better. So, I opened up my Tampax tampon, put it in and went on my way. I spent the next several hours on a bus traveling through the Italian alps and every bump was like a punch in [...]

Parsnips, Flax, Seaweed, and Lies

AL Eat

Did you know that certain brands of bread prevent cancer? Or that untold nutritional benefit can be reaped from the same plant that brought us rope? Or that seaweed and parsnips are not disgusting after all? Yeah — me, neither. These delicious revelations were cooked and served up by my wife Kate. Kate is a [...]

Men Get Fat Too

Stripper Pole

Recently, I joined some colleagues for drinks. They were all men. I hadn’t seen many of these guys in a while and as I looked around the table, I noticed a common theme in their appearance. Every single one of them had noticeably gained weight. And I? I felt victorious.