I don’t care how well you think you know the person you are married to/in love with/living in sin with, the day will come when you look at that person and think…Who is this freak?! I’ve been with my significant other for over a decade and I’m used to him and his ways. For the [...]
Most women I know have dieted, are dieting, or plan to diet. I mean, I can’t be the only one that has to lose twenty-five pounds by this Saturday.
Walking through the aspirin aisle at the pharmacy recently, I passed the Tylenol shelf. I chuckled bitterly, because Tylenol is one of those drugs that simply do not work for me. It never has. Now, I am not afraid to take my medications. Repeat after me: medication is your friend. There is no award for [...]
You may have heard about the “War on Women,” the seemingly systematic stomping of the right of women to have autonomy over their own bodies. The truth is it’s an election year and since things are improving economically, the GOP has to dip back into its old bag of tricks and grab a wedge issue [...]
An epic stomach virus landed on my door step yesterday. It was so awful I crapped my pants. Now, it’s not everyday that I consider where I stand on the Garanimal scale, but there I was begging and pleading for snaps between my crotch and an adult pullup for relief. Later, after the not-so husband [...]
When you are newly pregnant for the first time, your OB-GYN will present to you with benevolent open arms, much like the Shroud of Turin, the pregnancy bible What to Expect When You’re Expecting. After receiving this book at our first preggers appointment, I would bet my twenty-five dollar tube of Clinique smokey-kohl eye liner that [...]
Training for a late spring marathon in the Pacific Northwest means a lot of long runs during soggy weather. Training for a fall marathon in the Pacific Northwest means long runs during the heat of the summer. Either way, hours of exposure to moisture and the elements for a middle aged woman in average shape [...]
If she had only invested the $1,500 it cost for a Miracle Ear, she’d still be known as Angelina rather than Gam-alina. We now have answers for what we celebrity gossip addicts have been whispering about since Leg-gate at the 2012 Academy Awards.
Dear Doctor of Adele: First off, let me congratulate you, esteemed Doctor, on being the professional privy to one of the world’s most beloved performers in the past one hundred years. What an honor, you must be so secretly proud. How I have come by this information is of no matter. There is an issue [...]
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Life’s twists and turns have converted an old, reliable friend into a fading memory. Regardless of where I’ve lived, I’ve spent countless and extremely fulfilling moments inside its four, non-judgmental walls. But during those countless and fulfilling moments, I wasn’t always the 42-year-old father of five that I am today. So, sadly, things had to change.
Girl, I know you’re stressed. You’ve got exams, papers, a social life to tend to, college applications to send off, extra-curriculars and family stuff. I get it. And I’m not going to be one of those adult women who say, “Ha! you don’t know stress. Try having a job and kids and a lazy husband.” [...]
There are just some things that you just don’t do in polite society. You don’t use someone else’s toothbrush without telling them (they’ll figure it out soon enough when the brush is already wet). You don’t carryout a “Dutch oven” in bed (and never during sex). You don’t use the last of somebody’s toilet paper [...]
<a href="http://www.blogher.com/announcing-blogher-12-party-plan?conf=478218" title="Come As You Are Party"><img src="http://freeanissa.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/2012_CAYA_125_Going.jpg" alt="Come As You Are Party"/></a>
