Things That Go Bump in the Night


My girls are 5 and 7, and suddenly they think the creepy is cool. Lately, it’s been all about the scary stuff. The more you can make them squeal with piss-your-pants terror, the better. Popping up around the corner in the dark or yelling “BOO!” when they least expect it makes their day (or it makes [...]

Everyone Steals Their Kid’s Halloween Candy, Right?


I can’t be the only one who has lovingly tucked her children into bed, waited out the demands for water and another story, only to creep back for a final loving gaze once they were sleeping. Also, it’s much easier to steal their Halloween candy when they’re unconscious. The three-day sugar binge that accompanies Halloween [...]

Halloween Safety Tips For The Geriatric Crowd


Finding  yourself more this side of the mountain than that, but still grooving on Halloween? Knowing what grooving means and still feeling me? Then I got you covered, babe, and here’s the slim, Jim, on keeping your bad self contained and constrained–despite those advancing years–this Boo-Season. How To Be Safe on All Hallow’s Eve: 1.  [...]

The Pumpkin Patch Can Suck It


To celebrate harvest time, let’s all pay money to work in the fields!

15 Crappy Halloween Treats That Make My Kid Say Boo


We love Halloween in our house. Plus, we make sure to give out the good stuff: Kit Kats and peanut butter cups. You know, the real chocolate treats. I’ve taught my daughter well the houses on our block that go the extra mile and hand out the big bars. Nothing, on Halloween, beats the real [...]

It Was a Hi-C Halloween…

Exhibit C: Jack in the Box. Or, Erin in the Box.

My mom is far more crafty than I, which isn’t saying much because most every Halloween costume she made me revolved around a cardboard box of some sort (see Exhibit A). I was a Hi-C grape juice box, which was almost impossible to walk in because the box was narrow and my knees knocked on it every time [...]

Aiming Low Guide to Halloween Decor

happy halloween

So it’s Halloween and you still haven’t carved a single pumpkin or at the very least tossed a few shrunken acorn squash in your front yard? What? Who says acorn squash aren’t scary? Never mind. Because I’m here to solve all your Halloween dilemmas in one wham-smacker with the all-awesome Aiming Low Guide to Last-Minute [...]

Surprise: I’m a Halloween Over-Achiever!

Yes, his face actually IS stuck like that. A face only a mother could love.

I know this site is all about Aiming Low and how awesome it is to be mediocre. I have a confession to make:  I’m an over-achiever. A perfectionist, if you will. I’m one of those supermom types, you know, the ones that seem to have it all together and everyone’s all I DON’T KNOW HOW [...]

How to Go From Lazy Mom to Super Mom Without (Much) Effort


So it’s Hallowe’en and your kid is all like “Moooooommmmmmmm! I don’t have a costume!” Pshaw, I say. A mother who can’t whip up a costume in 10 minutes flat is no kind of mother in my book. Except apparently the whole white sheet + holes for eyes and mouth thing is getting tiresome for [...]

How To Make Tampon Ghosts And Other Terrifying Halloween Crafts


Part of the mission of our new Aiming Low Teach section is to give you tangible ways to make cool crafty shit with a touch of the absurd. So when a friend of mine sent me a link to this brilliant tampon ghost, I knew right away I had to make some. The idea comes [...]

Texas Halloween Costume Massacre

Not cool

Halloween scares me. Not the ghosts and goblins rigmarole–I’m talking being scared as a parent with young girls. I’ve watched my two stepdaughters get dressed up and take candy from strangers going on five years now. It’s always been fun for them, of course, but as the girls have gotten older, I’ve noticed an unsettling trend when [...]