Snowed In

A portion of the 50 vehicle accident a few miles from our place.

You may or may not know this, but I am a big fan of date nights. It’s true, I absolutely love having a night alone with my beautiful lady. What you might not know about me is that every two weeks, I get a date weekend, and I love them even more. This weekend was [...]

My Wife Found Her X Chromosome

Baby? Was I supposed to thaw this out first? It seems a bit rare.

I think she must have cracked up a bit while I was away this time, because when I got home, the house was clean, the dog was still alive, and she was already planning the next night’s dinner. Seriously. I know this doesn’t seem like a big deal to all of you Martha Stewart wannabes, [...]

An Ode to Hot Sauce

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There are some things in life that aren’t delightful; The outcomes are boring, or dreary and gray. They leave you with pain and make you feel spiteful, Like the time I got hot sauce on my penis one day. While eating nachos and some salsa I got, I realized my hot salsa needed more hot. [...]

S’mores-ish Cookie Bars

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London, England. Home to the 2012 Summer Olympic Games. As well as Diagon Alley, The Leaky Cauldron, and Gringotts Wizarding Bank. It’s also where Sherlock and many Doctor Who episodes take place. You know what my hubby said when we saw a commercial for the Olympics? “I hope that David Tennant lights the Olympic flame.” And that is just reason 5,486,902 why [...]

I’m BOASTING, BABY!!!!!

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So, you know how so many people post Facebook status updates the night before the first day of school? “Lunches are packed! Kids in bed! Backpacks ready! Forms filled out! Relaxing with a glass of wine and hubby!” And it’s only 8 p.m.? Some are dear friends of mine – and I hope they still [...]

A Fork In The Grass

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The following is a conversation that really took place last week, with no embellishment on my part. Allow me to set the scene: Nicky’s baseball game. Sunny, beautiful, breezy Sunday afternoon. I was sitting next to our friend, Glen* – our boys have played baseball together for the last few years, and even though he [...]

Double Cheese and Pepperoni Grilled Cheese

Double Cheese and Pepperoni Grilled cheese

Fun Facts… April is National Grilled Cheese Month! April 12 was officially Grilled Cheese Day! Where was I the evening of the 12th? Who knows. I don’t even know what day of the week the 12th was. However, if it was a weekday, chances are pretty good that I was leaving the office late, then [...]

The Accidental Seder (Phlegm Isn’t a Plague?)

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A few years ago, I told my friend, Mitch that I’d never seen the movie, The Ten Commandments. Correctly deducing that this meant I was a horrible Jew and had not actively been passing on critical knowledge (not to mention that great movie) to my children, he launched into an interrogation, asking, “Does Emma know [...]

Resolution Report Haiku Style

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With new found resolve I’m checking serving sizes after meals and snacks. This is serious. I’m concerned about Hubs’ weight. It’s too close to mine. More than twenty seeds from a single tangerine. I feel accomplished. When you bring the snack clearly mark it GLUTEN FREE so I don’t eat it. Searching Amazon for “_______ [...]

A Hint of Awful

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I am an unfailingly creative, dedicated cook, so every week I try to make a meal out of tortilla chips and fat. Recently I used a new brand of chips. Their particular flavor was mendaciously named “Hint of Lime.” Have you ever obsessively eaten something, because you are so appalled by the flavor you can’t [...]

MothMeal: It’s What’s For Breakfast

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As an ex-zookeeper, things that would make grown men jump on chairs and squeal in fear don’t phase me. What sends me into utter panic, you wonder? Moths. Fat furry flying posers. Things that fly should not be furry, except bats–which are actually flying rats. Mother Nature, fail. One of my New Year’s resolutions is [...]

Dining Out with a Toddler

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Pre-baby, my husband and I swore that we wouldn’t turn into one of those couples who vanishes when they have a child, who doesn’t do anything adult and fun anymore. “We’ll still travel! And eat out!” we declared to our friends – most of whom justifiably rolled their eyes at us. Post-baby, we were determined [...]