So do you remember when you had friends? Come on you remember–they’re the people who quit calling when you had children. I’m not blaming them, god knows I quit hanging out with a lot of people I liked once they had nothing left to talk about other than what brand of ass wipes they [...]
As I’ve mentioned before, my children fight a little bit. They try to play together but, at 10 and 7, they have very different interests and abilities which makes it hard for them to agree on an activity. There are no kids on our block for them to play with so, when they play outside, [...]
You know those people who wear tee shirts that say, “Too Blessed to be Stressed?” Those fucking assholes stress me out. Let me explain. I’m a worrier by nature. I can’t help it. It’s a combination of anxiety disorder and the kind of Type-A neurosis that hypothetically might lead a person to have a small [...]
I shouldn’t be glad he hit the baby’s head against the stove. Maybe glad isn’t the right word. Smug might be more like it. We give Ryan his baths on the kitchen counter, you see. We do this because my back cannot handle the low tub with the high side. I tried it a few times and spent all of bath [...]
Are you married to someone who wasn’t born in North America? Or married to someone born after 1990? Are you tired of explaining things like who “The Fonz” is or what “Sashay! Shantay!” means? Or why Scrappy Doo sucks? Me, too. I have the coolest, greatest husband ever. Sometimes, though, the fact that we grew up [...]
Structure, routine, expectations, follow through. All buzz words for how we are supposed to put our kids to bed at night. Because, no, you just don’t throw them in a darkened room and shut the door. And if you do, shhhhh.
I have a bad habit of eating like a garbage disposal. It makes perfect sense, waste-wise. It’s a natural chain of events— a simple formula: whatIcookfortheboys – whattheydon’teat = easymealsforme
My partner left for the Bahamas this morning at 6 a.m. and, though I could vent and/or keen about life’s unfairness, it would not be relevant. The Trip of Bahamanian Unfairness is relevant only because I had to make my own coffee this morning which means that I was dumb as a door for a [...]
The other day my kid and I passed the Speedo guy as we were driving to the playground. “Is that the guy who wears the Speedo?” I said. My daughter started to laugh. “Hheh, yeah mom. Eww.” “Mr Creeps,” I said, “that’s what we should call him.” Mr. Creeps is, well, creepy. He clears the [...]
I collect vintage children’s books. Not just one or two, but entire sets. I have collections full of perfect examples of the child-rearing practice of the time; finger wagging teach-you-a-lesson tales of what can happen when children don’t behave. I showcase these volumes front and center in the kid’s reading room downstairs. They’re fun to [...]
I could tell you about my father, but there wouldn’t be much to tell. It’s possible I wouldn’t recognize him if he passed me on the street.
If you have ever seen National Lampoon’s Vacation, you are aware of the dangers inherent in a family road trip. Fortunately, we’ve never had to strap a dead relative to the top of the car but road trips do come with their highs and lows. Recently, my partner and I took our kids to Kansas [...]
<a href="http://www.blogher.com/announcing-blogher-12-party-plan?conf=478218" title="Come As You Are Party"><img src="http://freeanissa.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/2012_CAYA_125_Going.jpg" alt="Come As You Are Party"/></a>
