When I was a new blogger, I went about trying to find new and inventive ways to promote my blog’s content. Through this endeavor, I stumbled upon something magnificent. No, I did not stumble upon StumbleUpon. Well, I did, but that’s not this story. I stumbled upon the Twitter account I’d created two years before [...]
Today I realized my kid was bitten by the snack zombie. AHHHH, SNAAAACK! So, I threw some yogurt covered pretzels at her and ran. Ran for my damn life! Because, if I didn’t, she’d be back for more. And more. And, did I mention, more? If I called dinner a snack, she would eat it. [...]
KLZ sat in her room enduring the depths of a cold winter day. As she sat, she wondered where all of the daylight hours had gone and how the sun could possibly be setting already. Looking around her bedroom, she found it had been overrun with clean, unfolded clothes. At first, she was angry. She [...]
Frequently, I find myself wondering how life was conducted before there were smartphones. This is particularly troubling as I was alive at a time when they did not exist. I didn’t have a cell phone to myself before college. Prior to that, I shared one with my dad and sister for emergencies only. Before that, [...]
I’m good at losing myself. I realize that sounds idealistic and philosophical; however, I don’t mean in a deep book about religious or political perspectives, while casually sipping from a glass of Merlot. I mean, I literally lose myself. Everywhere.
My friend had her first baby a few weeks ago. I was thrilled it wasn’t me. I’m too old for this shit. Swaddle blankets and things with cutesy names and, oh look!, a chew toy and a leash and a tiara?! What in the frig? Where am I again? Target? You don’t say! Because while [...]
Back in November I participated in Mo’vember, which is a charity to raise awareness for men’s prostate cancer. Basically, you grow a mustache, hit up your friends for money, and then shave it off December 1. I had never grown one before, and let me tell you a few things as a 35 year old [...]
I recently was pregnant for about fifteen months. OK, clearly that’s not true–but in the past three years there have only been a total of five months during which I was not pregnant or nursing. As many of you know, both pregnancy and nursing present some challenging wardrobe issues. The fact is this: fashion will [...]
“Mommy, does that go on my face like a mask?” my four-year-old son curiously blurted out when I showed him his, uh, sports cup for t-ball. You know how most parents will pass gender specific questions on to the other spouse for topics they don’t want to deal with? Well, when you are a single [...]
I am an excellent driver if you don’t ask Bambi, Thumper, or any of my friends. Aside from hitting a few curbs, signs and suicidal woodland animals I haven’t been responsible for a traffic accident since those first tender years as a licensed driver. This might surprise anyone who has actually ridden with me. I [...]
I have high hopes. I’m pretty sure that one day soon, I will rule the world (and I plan on doing it in pajama pants and a t-shirt). I’m not sure how I’m so convinced of this, considering I tried just last week, to microwave a can of SlimFast, but I’m almost entirely sure it’s [...]
How often do you say, “I accidentally hurt myself?” Or how many of you have kids that will say, “Mommy, did you hurt yourself AGAIN!?” I’m like three freaking stooges in one body constantly inflicting silly harm on myself! It’s not intentional. It’s also not that I’m clumsy. I’m actually quite graceful when I am [...]
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