Gird your loins: V-Day is coming!

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Valentine’s Day is coming up faster than you’d like to believe. Although I have a general distaste for Hallmark holidays, I’m gonna tell it to you straight: if you’re in any kind of relationship, you need to know what the explicit expectations are for this holiday of lurve. At my house, I make meatloaf. No [...]

Can I Get A Witness?

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So we are in a bit of a game with a bunch of friends from the beer league. It’s called Conky The Drunken Gnome Game and the rules are basically that if you find Conky on your doorstep you have two days to get him to one of the other player’s doorsteps or you have [...]

I Don’t Always Think Ahead

He hopes Nana doesn't get mad about the hair on the couch.

I went to the hunt camp the other day with Blue. We had to take the new used lawnmower up and cut a bit of wood for the winter. No one really wants to trudge through three or four feet of snow to thaw out the icicle of a cabin, but I’m hoping that this [...]

I’m BOASTING, BABY!!!!!

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So, you know how so many people post Facebook status updates the night before the first day of school? “Lunches are packed! Kids in bed! Backpacks ready! Forms filled out! Relaxing with a glass of wine and hubby!” And it’s only 8 p.m.? Some are dear friends of mine – and I hope they still [...]

Signs Your Kid Might Grow Up To Be a Super Villain

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A lot of times people show their careers at a very young age. Like you see Little Timmy behaving a certain way and you’ll say, “Oh, he’s going to grow up to be such a good policeman.” And then in a few years, you have Officer Timothy, heading up the Block Parent Association meeting at [...]

Lay versus Lie Gives Woman Freakin’ Heart Attack

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Chickens lay eggs, people lie down. But then what about “Now I lay me down to sleep…?” Never mind,  read this: “Every afternoon we lay down and rest for an hour,” laying is okay here because it’s in the past. But are we chickens now? Stop thinking. Here’s more: the past participle of the verb [...]

Do as I say, not as I did

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I’m the first one to admit I don’t know much. But I have learned a couple of stupidly unrelated tips the hard way. Just promise me you’ll file them away until you’re in a similar situation and I promise you’ll have a much nicer time. Trust me. 1. Wear gloves when you handle peppers. Of [...]

You Say Aphasia, I Say To-Mah-To

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I like to think I’m a hands-on parent. Somewhere between absent and hovering. In an attempt to “participate” in my children’s “upbringing,” I sometimes look over their shoulder to see what they’re watching on their various devices. Shockingly, the 16-year-old and the 14-year-old find this annoying. The 9-year-old, however, STILL LOVES ME, and willingly participates [...]

You Might Be An ADD Mom

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As usual, I was standing in the shower when I had an idea. An awful idea. A wonderful, awful idea. No, no I’m not going to steal Christmas, that’s been done. I was thinking of how you know when you’re an ADD Mom and wife. I think I qualify (I’ve been diagnosed and everything!) So [...]

I Want the Truth

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If you could impress one lesson upon your children, what would it be? A tough question, I know. As parents we teach our children just about every little thing; from using the toilet to expressing gratitude. But if I had to pick one, it would be about honesty. I’ve tried valiantly to instill this quality [...]

Plunging Into Peace

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Last night I had dinner all ready to go when my oldest, Izzy, came running in to the kitchen to tell me that the toilet was overflowing. Just a little. Umhum… just a little. It’s overflowing because some people dumped kitty litter down a chute that wasn’t designed for that. As I was plunging, swearing, [...]

Resolution Report Haiku Style

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With new found resolve I’m checking serving sizes after meals and snacks. This is serious. I’m concerned about Hubs’ weight. It’s too close to mine. More than twenty seeds from a single tangerine. I feel accomplished. When you bring the snack clearly mark it GLUTEN FREE so I don’t eat it. Searching Amazon for “_______ [...]