Before I was lucky enough to have children (SHUT UP) I thought I knew it all. I saw how my parents and other relatives parented and thought, “I’ve got this.” I also had lists of things I’d never, EVER do when I was a parent. How completely stupid naive I was. Look, I was a [...]
I don’t go out to the movies often. If I am lucky enough to secure a sitter, movie-going is about #18 on my list of things I would rather do without children. It is sandwiched between showing up stag to a pap smear and attending an obligatory baby shower. I can count on my fingers [...]
Boys are dumb (I’m sure you didn’t need me to tell you that). Some guys are fully aware of their own awkwardness in dealing with girls. They decide that they’re ready to start showing a girl that they’re interested, but they end up stumbling all over themselves in the process. The slightly smarter ones own [...]
When I was a young woman of 28, I got a job in a local government agency (name withheld to protect the bureaucratic). It was a good job by any standard. I was in a position to help people and the salary and benefits were nothing to shake a stick at. When I started, a [...]
I haven’t been to the “free” library in almost two years. Sure I’ve driven past it’s opulent exterior of brick and mortar and longingly thought about its treasure of texts held within. And the buzzing computers and DVDs and micro-film, and the old man that coughs every 30 seconds like he’s about to die. Oh, and the [...]
There are a number of blogs out there–over half a million in fact. Many of these blogs are started with the naive intent to become rich and famous. Let’s famous it, we’d all love to get paid 6 figures (or even 3 figures) to play on the computer all day. After all, isn’t playing on [...]
The other day my kid and I passed the Speedo guy as we were driving to the playground. “Is that the guy who wears the Speedo?” I said. My daughter started to laugh. “Hheh, yeah mom. Eww.” “Mr Creeps,” I said, “that’s what we should call him.” Mr. Creeps is, well, creepy. He clears the [...]
I hear a lot of nonsense about how women aren’t funny. In fact, it’s actually a joke I often make myself. You see, I like my humor dry (and shaken, not stirred). See, when I think about spending the afternoon with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, I think about how dull and dreary it would [...]
Last week I plunked down a cool $27 to see Titantic in 3D. This is a movie that I already own and have seen three times in the theater. And also watched in Spanish on Telemundo. Just in case: it still sinks, and I don’t even speak Spanish. Too soon?
When I started working, not that long ago, I believed in order to succeed I needed to work hard and be innovative. That, blessedly, was before our phones were smart. Now, I’m expected to be available to answer any “urgent” question at record speed, at any time of the day. Now, to be successful, I [...]
Though it may seem like the end of the world to a teen who flunks his road test, it’s not. It’s a parent’s job to get him back up on that horse, and try again as soon as possible.
An epic stomach virus landed on my door step yesterday. It was so awful I crapped my pants. Now, it’s not everyday that I consider where I stand on the Garanimal scale, but there I was begging and pleading for snaps between my crotch and an adult pullup for relief. Later, after the not-so husband [...]
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