I’m a smart person. Mostly. There are times, however, when I wonder how I am able to function without harming myself or others.
Tag Archive: FAIL
Apathy For The Devil
I don’t like to consider myself an apathetic person. I mean, who wants to be all, “What up, Bitches? I’m LAZY.” Not me. That’s who. But in the process of hosting my very first party in five years, I realized something–I’ve gotten disgustingly apathetic. The old me is shaking her head right now as the…
3 Pictures Most People Wouldn’t Take With Their iPhones
Have you ever analyzed the type of pictures that you tend to take? I think most people have a picture-taking style or interest. Some people’s pictures will consist primarily of their kids, pets or themselves. Some like landscapes, signs or food. Do you know what I discovered when I was skimming through all my iPhone…
The Circle of Life, Family and Revenge
I’ve always been the weird and rebellious one in the family… all my relatives have stories about me. I dressed like a freak, always had a smart mouth and was more defiant than what should be humanly possible. If someone told me what I should be doing I would do the opposite. Just because. Or…
How to Celebrate Your Birthday in Style
It’s my birthday today. Yup. I’m going to be 29 again. I’ve been turning 29 for six years now. Lots of time to get the perfect 29th birthday planned. First, I’m going to read though the journals I kept as a teenager and laugh at my angsty teenage self. This will allow me to feel…
I’m Liz and I Shave My Chin
I shave my chin. No, I AM a woman. See that little icon up there? It should confirm to you that–well, it’s pretty tiny so you can’t see much of anything, but one thing is for sure: I know you have chin hair too. Whether woman, male, or combo. Chin hair does not discriminate. But…
My Ankle is a Murderous Traitor
It has come to my attention that my ankle is trying to kill me. At first, I thought it was simply my own clumsiness that caused me to go careening through the air and onto the pavement at regular intervals. Yet after years of study, I’ve finally realized: my ankle has seceded from the union…
My Cat is One Lazy Mofo
Meet Zoe. She would meet you back except she’s too busy sleeping all the damn time. And no one bothers her about this. No one. The Kid isn’t all: can I have a snack? Every 2.5 seconds. And Mr. Kitty doesn’t waltz over to announce there’s no minimum on something he MUST HAVE on…
