5 Reasons Why I am the Laziest Person Ever

Who us? We never piss or barf.

Sometimes I look around my house and I am astonished at just how lazy I can be. Depending on the number of times I’ve ferried children to taekwondo in a given week, I can be house-lazy to the point of “Hoarders” grossness. Here are five examples of my appalling laziness: 1.  For six months, I [...]

Everything You Need to Know in Life you Can Learn from Dogs

Me? ME? Certainly not. It was the...dog.

I’m a dog person. Scratch that, I’m the Crazy Dog Lady. I’ve often maintained I like dogs more than people. WHAT? It’s true. I have good reasons for this, naturally. You can learn everything you need to know in life from dogs. Like how to act like decent human beings. Don’t believe me? I’ve prepared [...]

Pet are Not Philanthropists

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As I was driving to Target the other day, I stopped behind a van with a bumper sticker that said the following: My Dog Gave Blood at ACCES. Just hear me out, people. I am a pet owner. I have always had cats and dogs and one unfortunate stint with mice as a child. I [...]

My Name is Mud

And this is after she was hosed off. I ruined all of her hard work!

I love living in the Mid-Atlantic states. There’s something about experiencing all four seasons that brings peace to my inner soul. Warmer and more arid climates are nice to visit but I decided long ago that my skin and hair (and psyche) do best right here, smack dab in the middle of the East Coast. [...]

Sure, Stupid Dog; Go Ahead and Eat That

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I think my dog has pica. You know, that crazy disease that causes people to eat random, not normal food stuff? You’ve probably seen a TLC special on it, because TLC does specials on everything strange. If compulsions to eat weird stuff aren’t special worthy, then I don’t know what is. (Except for mothers who [...]

The Dog/Kid Connection

Erin & Jacob Wedding_171

I took a field trip to New Jersey last weekend to spend time with my bestie, Stacey. She’s the mother of twin three year-old boys. She also happens to be pregnant with twin girls due in October. My favorite part of the weekend was her boys deciding to like me and be my friends. Victory! [...]

How I Met Your Schnoodle

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“That is a really cute dog!” I exclaimed as a woman got out of her car with an armful of fluff. She put the fluff down on the ground, it turned into a dog, and did a little happy dance. “What kind is he?” I asked. “He’s a Schnoodle,” she replied happily. I raised my [...]

Do Dogs Reflect Their Owners? If So, I’m Screwed

Be thankful I didn't use a picture of dog poop on the carpet. I have many.

Have your dogs reflected different stages of your life?

The REAL Reason I Have Dogs

ARE YOU GONNA DROP IT? HUH HUH? DROP IT PLEEEEASE.

Dogs are called man’s best friend for a reason. Some folks like them because they are constant companions. Some because they are a part of the family (and never tell me I look fat). Others enjoy participating in athletic pursuits with their pups. But most people would never admit to one of my favorite reasons. [...]

Doggone: Man’s Best (& Enduring) 3 Friends

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It’s not that my colleague would push his dogs into the great beyond to take their rightful place in pet heaven, but he would sign a ‘do not resuscitate’ if the opportunity showed up. Don’t go there, animal lovers! This is a humorous dialogue about three long-living senior citizens who have outlasted predicted demise…and their [...]

The Special Bond That Forms When Someone Poops on Your Head

pugwithtoiletpaper

This morning I woke to find myself poised precariously on the edge of my bed. One vigorous yawn and I would have tumbled to the hardwood floor. This is not an unusual occurrence, however. It happens most mornings because our pugs sleep with with us and although they begin the night in tight little dog-knots, [...]

My Dog Can Totally Eat Underwear Faster than Your Dog

Meet Barney. She is pretty much a picture perfect dog. When taking her for walks I have people stop their cars to tell me what a beautiful dog she is and to ask where I got her. Which is totally not creepy at all, by the way. Aside from her picture perfection she has a few [...]