The Dating Game, With Your Host – Christopher. Fuckin’. Walken.

The hat is passed and it’s my turn to retrieve the scrap of paper that reveals my scene partner. It’s Tim and the scene is from “Look Back In Anger”. This is actually perfect. There is an intriguing intensity about him, not to mention that he’s really cute. But I’m a professional. I’m here to [...]

7 Bad Date Stories


We’ve all had one, right? A bad date. Some of us you might have had more than one…say 3 or more. The cop who asked me to let him try out his handcuffs on me on our first date? Yeah, that was sort of creepy. 1. I will claim one (maybe more) of these 7 [...]

Blind Date with Poor Melvin

champagne and roses

This online dating thing is boring. Someone man-up and meet me in the flesh! I was over this netiquette, so I made a date with the first gentleman caller that inquired. I agreed to a date with a man named Melvin. That’s right, his name is Melvin, a synonym for an extremely uncomfortable man-wedgie. Melvin. [...]

Dining Out with a Toddler

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Pre-baby, my husband and I swore that we wouldn’t turn into one of those couples who vanishes when they have a child, who doesn’t do anything adult and fun anymore. “We’ll still travel! And eat out!” we declared to our friends – most of whom justifiably rolled their eyes at us. Post-baby, we were determined [...]

How He Met My Parents


I guess what’s meant to be is meant to be, whether or not, by all outside appearances, it should have been a complete and epic failure.

Why Did I Think That?

Heart of the matter

When I was in high school my first official “boyfriend” told some people that we had sex and I was appalled. I wasn’t appalled that he was kissing and telling, I was appalled because it wasn’t true. We didn’t have sex. It wasn’t like I thought he was trying to spread rumors or brag. He [...]

Fall TV Starts Tonight: Let’s Watch Together

new fall television

Last night was technically the first night of new programing for fall television. One new show aired: “Ringer” on the CW. Did you watch it? (Sarah Michelle Gellar played twins in a sci-fi show and she and her double will kick you in the shins if you call her Buffy. So don’t.) Kind of a tap at [...]

The Great Thong Conspiracy

Photo courtesy of pattista

My husband has a theory about courtship: Dating = thong. Marriage = full coverage underwear. I think it all started because he somehow felt deceived. When we were dating, I wore thongs regularly. I wore suits to work and dresses when we went out dancing. It only made sense to wear thongs because I was [...]

My Daughter, Myself, and My Mini Nervous Breakdown

My daughter is now 7.5 years old. The other day she passed a note to a boy in her class which I was told read, “Dear Boy who better not touch me” ok, that’s my version, hers was “Dear (insert name of boy who better not touch her): I really like you a lot. I [...]

Maybe Not THAT Low

File this under “Sex and the Newly Single Mom.” Or, “How Your Mom Can Really Screw Up Your Screwing.” After years of being married to a man who was not deaf, but played one on TV… I mean… in our relationship, I’m too easily impressed when someone actually remembers anything I say.

Too Bad They Can’t Take Out The Garbage Too

Somewhere, down the line if we hit it off, I want to know there will be sex.

This is what I woke up to this morning. Hawt coffee, mmmm. Log into Facebook, log into gmail. New message on Match, hmmm, maybe this will be the one! And I get this…. Umm, I think NOT. Subject – You seem like a great girl (I am, thankyouverymuch!) Now, I shit you not, this email [...]