I was hungry, I didn’t feel like doing any real cooking, and I was out of peanut butter, so I grabbed an avocado and started pretending like I knew what to do with it. Fake it ’til you make it, they say. They’re smart.
Snickers Apple Salad
Look, it’s the Holidays. Close enough, anyway. Basically this means that we’re all about to get super fat. I thought it’d be nice of me to share a nice, light salad recipe with you. You know, because salad is super healthy. This super nutritional salad is full of things like apples (fruit!) and Snickers candy [...]
Lazy Day Banana Muffin Recipe
There’s something you should know about me. I’m not a baker. No. Really. I’m not. I have minor difficulties following recipes which can be disastrous when said recipe calls for baking powder and you add baking soda instead. Who knew there was such a big difference? But I also have a slight addiction to baked [...]
That’s Not Where You Wear an Oven Mitt
It’s a true story that when I first walked into my now-husband’s apartment for the first time that I thought perhaps he’d posted his match.com profile under the wrong sexual orientation. I had no awareness of men who could decorate or cook who didn’t also pitch for their home team. My experience with men trying [...]
Milk Dud Brownies
It only took about 5 dates (if that) for me realize that I didn’t like my future husband’s mother. She was mean, y’all. No, really. Mean. Also? Scary. She didn’t like me back, so it’s cool. We pretended to like each other and one day we just kind of meant it. Fake it til you [...]
Cheesy Bacon Ranch Bread
Have you ever done squats? If not, good for you. You’re smart. Squats are dumb. You can continue living with happy, pain-free thighs. I, unfortunately, am not that lucky. I did squats. Not on purpose or anything. It’s just that I’m a photographer and sometimes I photograph kids. Kids are great and all, but did [...]
Applications For Sister Wife Now Being Accepted
I was addicted to the HBO series Big Love despite my initial questions about polygamy. However, I am an open-minded person from a very abnormal family, so I quickly realized sister wives are not only awesomesauce, but should become a part of mainstream society. Like, yesterday. My third daughter will arrive this month, so my need for [...]
EZPZ: Reduce Kitchen Labor by Cooking Like a Bachelor
Increase your kitchen efficiency by living like a broke-ass college kid.
Attack of the MOM BODY. She’s Coming and You Can’t Hide.
The biggest fear of every girl in her 20′s, is her body changing into a mom body. I say that term “mom body” in a general way, because you totally know what I’m talking about. Thick in the middle, and soft all over…all tucked into a round pocket of faded denim. I’m a relatively new [...]
The Peanut Butter and Jelly Wars
People of the Internets, my family needs you. We are a house divided, and everyone knows that a house divided cannot enjoy a picnic together. Our problem centers around the classic American cuisine: the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Or rather, the problem centers around the peanut butter and peanut butter sandwiches that my husband [...]
How to Throw Your Money Away: A Comparative Analysis
There are hundreds of invigorating ways to throw your money away. You could spend a few nights in Vegas, invest poorly in real estate, lease a Mercedes, or use your cable TV dollars watching “Dancing with the Stars.” The options are limitless. But for the purposes of this study, we are going to focus on [...]
Ham is Hard. And Other Things I Didn’t Learn in College.
I realized in my 6th month of being a housewife that there’s a lot of shit I don’t know. I probably should have paid more attention in Home-Ec circa 1994. Because I especially don’t know about foods. See, growing up I was a very picky eater in an Italian house where the meals were either [...]
