Watch out, I’m getting crunchy granola on you now. Well, only crunchy on the outside; sweetly chewy on the inside. This is getting confusing. I’m talking about granola bars, not my life philosophy. Though if I had an actual life philosophy it wouldn’t have high-fructose corn syrup in it. And it would be honey sweet….
Tag Archive: cooking
Things I Didn’t Get For the Holidays
So the holidays are over and we’re all completely broke. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t get the things I wanted most. How about some money-saving secrets for next year? Wanna get me a gift I’ll love without spending all your hard-earned cash? No problem! Here are plenty of FREE ideas for me: A Poop Scoop Fairy. The PSF has…
Caramel Apple Turnover Recipe
You know those women who bake to relax? The ones who can turn out a perfect pie crust and flawlessly decorated cake? Yeah. I’m not one of them. I do, however, try to befriend them. Which makes it all the more intimidating when they come to my house for drinks and dessert. I feel like…
Buttons
I’m big on trying new recipes. After all, I write a food blog and my readers get really irritated when I post the same recipe over and over again. They are so demanding sometimes. Like, HELLO, don’t you know that I have “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” just sitting on my DVR waiting to…
Parsnips, Flax, Seaweed, and Lies
Did you know that certain brands of bread prevent cancer? Or that untold nutritional benefit can be reaped from the same plant that brought us rope? Or that seaweed and parsnips are not disgusting after all? Yeah — me, neither. These delicious revelations were cooked and served up by my wife Kate. Kate is a…
Peanut Butter Oreo Bars
Some people will never dip their Oreo cookies in anything but a large glass of milk. Those people are wrong. And confused. Also, strange and sad and weird. You should really experiment with your Oreo cookies. They just beg for it. Dip ‘em in melted chocolate or caramel ice cream topping sometime. I dare you.
I’m Not Actually An Adult. Don’t Tell Anybody.
I was listening the other day to someone talk about a dinner party they were throwing. They were actually talking to me, which is a dumb idea because everyone knows I can’t keep a secret or participate in discussion of any sort of adult topics. Hell, unless it involves dancing cats or cats playing the…
Leftover Turkey Chili Recipe
If you’re reading this from the United States, there’s a very good chance that in exactly two weeks, you’re going to be looking at a fridge full of turkey. Most likely, you’ll have a living room full of turkeys too, but I digress. And while turkey sandwiches are amazing and delicious, there are only so…
