Make the Holidays Healthier by Bleeding Pure Sea Salt

blood.droplet

In addition to wearing sweaters so hideous that even Cousin Eddie would be insulted, many celebrate the holidays by fretting about their health. And with good reason. There’s something about the period surrounding The Big J’s birth that causes people to become really hungry and really thirsty, especially for alcohol (which may have something to do with the 24/7 bombardment of [...]

Even This Grinch Has To Admit That Christmas Has Its Charms

Christmas

Even this malcontent has to admit that you can shake some pretty fine stuff out of the mess that is Joyeux Noël. Who knew? I must be getting soft in my old age.

What are some of the little things that make Christmas for you? Do you have any favourite moments you’d like to save?

Does Your Family Play “Hide the Schnitzel” at Christmas?

schnitzel

When my family gathers around the Tannenbaum, it’s all about holiday cheer and psychological warfare.

The Evolution of the Holiday Sweater

evolution of holiday sweater

Chances are you currently have (or are even currently wearing) a holiday sweater. These itchy festive wraps have become as much a staple of the holidays as spiral ham or twinkle lights. Some holiday sweaters are given in earnest and sincere love. These are the gifts from elderly family members or parents of friends of [...]

My Kids Are Hoarders

Dog Pile

My kids are hoarders. I know this because every time I enter one of their rooms, one of them is hiding all of the old mail that was SUPPOSED to go out with the recycling. You’d think they could hoard something cooler, like kittens or diamonds, but no, not MY kids. My kids are all [...]

Dear Santa

Christmas

Dear Santa, First off, please do not tell my kids that I wrote you this letter because they are not allowed to write you letters. Well, that’s not true; they can write you letters, but they can not give you a list of things they want. They will grow up like I did, not knowing [...]

Santa Who?

Just in case. You know. In case he's real.

When I was a kid, my parents did the whole cookies-and-milk thing Christmas Eve and we wrote letters to Santa detailing the page of the Sears catalog where he could find our most coveted toy. While I was never big on the whole Santa deal (I figured it out when I was five… Santa and [...]

Mommy Brain~ When Your Vagina Gets the Holiday Spirit

Mommy Brain

Mommy Brain~ condition that makes everything foggy, forgotten and questionable if it’s really happening, supposed to be happening, or already happened? Hell, I’d bet my reminder list that most of us are in the throes of it at this very moment. Me, I am on the verge of a full-blown case of sundowners of the [...]

12 Rules to Live By, According to Two Small Boys

Two Small Boys and Me

Recently, a small member of our family may or may not have swallowed a Lego and given us all a good scare and a trip to the emergency room. This event (whether or not it happened) may have inspired a lengthy conversation about ”good rules to live by.” “Legos are for building, not for eating” was tactfully left [...]

10 Craptastic Christmas Gift Ideas

Wall of Gift Cards

Every year, after the Thanksgiving dishes are cleared, our extended family takes the same poll.  Every year, I’m voted down.  I am apparently the only adult who thinks it is ridiculous to draw names and then sit around Christmas morning and exchange gift cards. I have warned my family that anyone getting me a gift [...]

Once Upon A Christmas

Present

Memory is a fallible instrument. You just can’t trust it. Or maybe you can trust yours, but you shouldn’t trust mine. I wanted to tell you about this trip that I took with my mom from L.A. to Sacramento one year for Christmas, but then as I started to write it I realized that my [...]

Perhaps I’ll Send Valentine’s Day Cards Instead. Maybe.

Cherubs 1

I really try to be a grown-up. I do. I own a couple vacuum cleaners (and use them regularly!) My kids are regularly fed and bathed. Mostly. I do my own shopping – even if I can’t cook worth a damn – and I even know how to turn on a computer. On most days, [...]