I wanted to take a nice picture of my kids for a holiday card. That’s all. I didn’t want them to sit and pose while I painted a reproduction of the Nativity. A sweet photograph of my offspring grinning merrily at the camera was all I was looking for. It was just the spawn, the [...]
There are plenty of great reasons to convert to Judaism; but the one that’s making me seriously consider the switch is Christmas. Christmas doesn’t make me grumpy anymore, the way it did when I was younger. In fact, I’ve grown to really appreciate the family gatherings, the feasts, the music (in small doses), and even [...]
It’s kind of hard to tell, but this is me wanting all the best for the next generation.
Buck up, young narcissists, because it’ll get far worse than this before it gets better.
We’re adults. We should, by this stage in our lives, be able to handle anything that comes our way (and that does not involve pain or death) without feigning deafness, playing hide and seek, or chewing the insides of our cheeks until they bleed. That’s how I think most people would like their self concept [...]
A Bit of Black Culture Lesson One: Kwanzaa Habari Gani? Loosely translated from Swahili, this means “What’s the news?” Today is the third day of Kwanzaa, that little-understood post-Christmas celebration which people throw into the holiday greetings mix just because they think they should. Here’s a quick Kwanzaa lesson: there are seven days of Kwanzaa, and [...]
Do you want to know what I would also like for my birthday? I want you to go out of your way to remember the other late December babies languishing out there in the post-Christmas/pre-New Year’s malaise.
If you’re anything like, oh, everyone else besides Martha Stewart and Mrs. Claus, then at some point over the holidays you lost your mojo. Whether you wrapped it up and gave it to charity by accident or whether it’s sitting in someone’s freezer baked into a fruitcake they’re planning on re-gifting next year, the damn [...]
I dislike the week between Christmas and New Year’s. It’s not just that I need fat pants for my fat pants–I am burnt out. By the time this posts, I am sure to have watched “A Christmas Story” no fewer than 22 times. Since we’re bombarded with all things Christmas starting in September, I like [...]
I wish I could share with you the pages of my journal during the holiday breaks of my high school years. I mean, I could if I really wanted to. They are totally upstairs in a box and I am just being weirdly lazy about scanning and uploading and redacting and stuff. But the point [...]
We all have flaws. I know this. I accept this. I hope everyone can accept this in me. I hope you will all still be able to look at me, associate with me and not pelt me with refuse in the street when I come clean about my prejudice. THE QUALITY OF THE DECORATIONS MATTER, [...]
Yes, my friends, it’s Christmas Eve Eve Eve and I’d like to share one of my family’s traditions/maladies with you. It’s called “premature eGiftulation”. For as long as I can remember, my family’s holiday gift exchange has started on Christmas Eve Eve Eve and possibly even Christmas Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve. I would [...]
‘Tis the season to be jolly! ‘Tis also the season of deception, subterfuge, and bald-faced lies. Giving your family a holiday full of surprises, warmth and wonderment involves lying like a cheap rug on the head of a used car salesman, so say goodbye to personal integrity and hello to A Liar’s Guide to Christmas. Parents: [...]
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