Walk The Walk

Not me, but it sure could have been with those clothes.

You know how kids sometimes don’t do things when you ask them to? Yeah, I know it’s rare, but every once in a while they just seem to forget when you mentioned that the laundry needed to be put in the dryer after the buzzer went off and the dry clothes need to be folded. [...]

The Timeworn Tale of the Sick Mother and the Children Who Didn’t Care.

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I spent Friday feverish, throat like a Brillo Pad, dreading the moment the kids would come home. I heard them enter, my husband shushing them with a “Mom’s sick! Let her sleep!” The door squeaked. I sensed little faces staring at me in the dimness of my shuttered bedroom, their breathing like stage whispers. My [...]

I’m BOASTING, BABY!!!!!

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So, you know how so many people post Facebook status updates the night before the first day of school? “Lunches are packed! Kids in bed! Backpacks ready! Forms filled out! Relaxing with a glass of wine and hubby!” And it’s only 8 p.m.? Some are dear friends of mine – and I hope they still [...]

Just Like My Parents

With my older sister, mother, grandmother, and grand aunt.

With my older sister, Mother, Grandmother, and Great Aunt circa 1985.  A few weekends ago, as my family and I were leaving Costco (YAY for free samples!), one of my relatives stopped me. “Hi! You’re Rubin’s daughter, right?” she said. “Yes,” I replied, desperately trying to remember what her name was, “I’m Arbine.” After exchanging [...]

Signs Your Kid Might Grow Up To Be a Super Villain

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A lot of times people show their careers at a very young age. Like you see Little Timmy behaving a certain way and you’ll say, “Oh, he’s going to grow up to be such a good policeman.” And then in a few years, you have Officer Timothy, heading up the Block Parent Association meeting at [...]

You Say Aphasia, I Say To-Mah-To

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I like to think I’m a hands-on parent. Somewhere between absent and hovering. In an attempt to “participate” in my children’s “upbringing,” I sometimes look over their shoulder to see what they’re watching on their various devices. Shockingly, the 16-year-old and the 14-year-old find this annoying. The 9-year-old, however, STILL LOVES ME, and willingly participates [...]

Tales of the Toilet Monster

What I see

When my daughter tells me she needs to go to the bathroom in a public area, I cringe. My oldest daughter has a ridiculous phobia of automatic toilets. So when I walk into any public bathroom and see that sensor, I have to prepare her for a life lesson that just doesn’t seem to sink [...]

You Might Be An ADD Mom

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As usual, I was standing in the shower when I had an idea. An awful idea. A wonderful, awful idea. No, no I’m not going to steal Christmas, that’s been done. I was thinking of how you know when you’re an ADD Mom and wife. I think I qualify (I’ve been diagnosed and everything!) So [...]

The Accidental Seder (Phlegm Isn’t a Plague?)

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A few years ago, I told my friend, Mitch that I’d never seen the movie, The Ten Commandments. Correctly deducing that this meant I was a horrible Jew and had not actively been passing on critical knowledge (not to mention that great movie) to my children, he launched into an interrogation, asking, “Does Emma know [...]

Halos, Horns, and Homeschoolers

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When my new neighbor found out I homeschool my seven kids, she tapped the top of my head and said, “I think I see a halo.” For the record, NEVER do that. I wanted to slug her, but like the good girl I was raised to be—dammit–I smiled politely and changed the subject. But seriously, [...]

I Want the Truth

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If you could impress one lesson upon your children, what would it be? A tough question, I know. As parents we teach our children just about every little thing; from using the toilet to expressing gratitude. But if I had to pick one, it would be about honesty. I’ve tried valiantly to instill this quality [...]

A Mother-in-Law’s Assumptions of Equality

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My mother-in-law is a master at rubbing me the wrong way.  She makes seemingly innocent comments like, “Maybe you can take a nap,” when she knows I have to work, or last week’s gem, “With a higher position now, he will likely have more responsibilities – like working later.” Um. Yeah. I know. That statement [...]