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Tag Archive: children

That One Time Ambien Almost Got Me Into a Three-Way

Do you suffer from a lack of restful sleep? Are you a parent? Are you an adult with responsibilities? If you are, you have probably experienced bouts of insomnia. It’s either trouble falling asleep–due to the ever-growing list that lights up your wall as you try to turn off your brain at night–or trouble staying…

Sick Kids Disprove Evolutionary Theory

Taking care of sick toddlers is a pain, but it helped me figure out how the universe works.

The Circle of Life, Family and Revenge

I’ve always been the weird and rebellious one in the family… all my relatives have stories about me. I dressed like a freak, always had a smart mouth and was more defiant than what should be humanly possible. If someone told me what I should be doing I would do the opposite. Just because. Or…

The Mombie Survival Guide

The Kid didn’t beg exactly, but she was all: “MOM! Please be a room parent.” Which is the equivalent of planning two parties and being a chaperone for her third grade trip. And as much as I want to be there, this does require me to, gasp, deal with Other Mothers. I live smack dab…

How to Make a Superhero Cape

A couple of years ago, I found myself trapped in a house with two very active little boys and a baby. It was the sort of situation guaranteed to crack even the toughest nut. And let’s be fair. I’m not that tough. In a flash of genius, I told the boys I’d make them superhero…

Release the Kraken!

I have two little girls, and my 4-year-old has always announced to the world when she has passed gas, “Mommy, me faaaarrrtttteed!” followed by insane giggling (joined by her 6-year-old sister). With kindergarten looming, I think it might be in her best interest if she stops announcing it and is given a code word; something…

Teaching Kids How to Not Hate the Museum

A kid who wants to learn is less work than a kid who must be tied to a chair to learn. Theoretically. I can’t take credit for this concept. It’s tried and true and is the principle behind a known parenting technique employed by my own parents that involved lots of “I don’t know if…

Just Try To Top My Potty-Training Story

I was dinnering with a group of newish mom friends recently, and the topic turned–as it so often does with mothers who are sharing a nice meal–to urine and feces. They were sharing their anecdotes about potty-training their children and were trying to outdoodoo one another with their horror stories. I sat quietly, a faint…