I’ve Got Frank Sinatra’s Storage Unit Contents For $10,000


There’s a show about a family pawn shop business that my kids and I are hooked on. It stars an old man with his signature lid fedora who says, “In my day” a lot. There’s an eager-for-daddy’s-approval 50ish year old son, a late 20 ish son of the man with the daddy fixation, who tantrums [...]

EZPZ: How To Watch Any TV Show Without Paying A Dime


My apartment is not wired for cable. I know what you’re thinking: How is it that you have access to a computer in 1862, Una, and are Abraham Lincoln’s acne scars really that visible in real life? But no, friends. I live in New York, what some would argue is one of the most plugged-in, [...]

Cable Outlet: The One Thing My Kids Would Sacrifice Food, Air and a Virgin Cat For


Should psychologists ever use my children to reassess Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, their findings would conclude that cable television should be added alongside air, food and sleep as essential human needs. In fact, it may actually outrank food and sleep, given the children’s eagerness to forgo both if it means feasting on just one more [...]