Suspiciously Rich Liars

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So back in my Seattle days, there was this guy I’ll call Ernie. Ernie was a douchebag–but not in a malicious way, in a he-tries-too-hard kinda way. He was always hanging out with this pale, meek chick who was frequently (and inexplicably) barefoot, thus exposing her rodent-like feet, so thin as to be translucent, an [...]

6 Types of D-Bags You’ll Meet on the NYC Subway

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Before I start this urban etiquette rant, let me say: Anyone who lives in or has spent any amount of time in New York knows that six is a laughably low number for this list. People say that if you see a rat anywhere in the city, there are 10 more hiding out where that [...]

Gaze Upon My Bunghole And Tell Me You Love Me

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Oh, love. Oh, glorious, wonderful, lusty, beautiful, scary, heart achey, head-spinning, boner-inducing, breathtaking LOVE. It’s so fucking awesome. And then it’s so fucking hard. But today I’m going to focus on the not so fucking hard kind.