My parents decided to separate when I was 25. My dad put out pita and hummus and poured my sister and me some wine and told us he was leaving. I remember my grandmother calling me shortly thereafter. “Well,” she said, “at least you’re old enough that it doesn’t affect you.” As if there was…
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and there are tons of adorable, glitter-y, do-it-you… [more]
Taking care of sick toddlers is a pain, but it helped me figure out how the universe works.… [more]
You may have been asking yourself “What exactly IS a roundtable and how is this different from… [more]
Infectious Fun
Flu season is upon us. Still, there is no reason why we can’t take this dreaded season and find the fun in it. Right? As someone who is writing this post while enjoying a good battle with influenza, I thought I would share some fabulously fun activities to keep you occupied while you recuperate. Please…
Which Smartphone Is For You?
There are three main contenders in the smartphone (i.e. cellphones that are basically little bitty pocket computers! Joy!) market for you to choose from. So when your two-year contract is up, and your cell phone company gives you a free “upgrade” (with another damn two-year renewal), what do you choose?
Who Should Play You In the Movie of Your Life?
I just read on the internet (so you know it has to be true) that Lindsay Lohan is going to play Elizabeth Taylor in a movie. Now before you get all WHAAAAAT the LOHAN??? on me I am going to shush you with the extra tidbit that the movie is going to be a Lifetime…
Cry Baby
It’s only recently that I’ve been forced to handle these things you normal people call “emotions.” I’ve managed, through sheer power of will, hiring stunt doubles and drowning myself in work (no, not LITERALLY) to keep myself as far away from these “emotions” for as long as possible. Then my daughter was born nearly three…
Calamaties in Call Screening
Call screening. Good times. Certainly never thought such an act would ever threaten my job. But in February of 2000, I was ordered to catch a flight to LaGuardia, then a car service to Connecticut to discuss a call-screening matter with my boss. The meeting began with but three words. “Is it true?” Shit. Why didn’t…
11 Ways to Beat the Winter Blahs
Raise your hand if you you’re like me and get kind of blah in mid-November, and by January sit around semi-comatose, staring at walls. Now, raise your hand if you realize you may be experiencing S.A.D. What’s S.A.D? Seasonal Affective Disorder. In blogger-without-medical-training speak it means that every year around the same time (usually between…
I’m Sexy and I Know It
I don’t think I’ve ever been this bummed that I don’t have that kinda junk. Except, maybe, when I’m in the car on that long road to nowhere and I gotta go. I mean, seriously, have you ever seen a package shake like that? Does he have a back problem? Because I have a set…
Reply All is Not the Devil
Many a spooky story is told about people using the reply all functionality on an email when they meant to send a snarky comment to just one person. Naturally, the offenders are then tormented and humiliated and sometimes even tarred and feathered for their technological mishap. Stories of these blunders have everyone so scared that…
Delusional Women and the Catalogs That Prey on Them
I am 5’7”. I weigh anywhere from 145-158 pounds, depending on what house Mars is rising in. I wear a 38CC bra. I bear about as much resemblance to a fashion model as a bale of hay does. Additionally, I am 44 years old and so dealing with this particular topography is hardly a new…
