I’m not a hypochondriac, not normally. But then I had kids and I was sure that I had a brain tumor. Turns out, it was just the kids. As I age, I’ve realized that I want to live for a long time… so now I’m paranoid that I’m going to die.
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and there are tons of adorable, glitter-y, do-it-you… [more]
Taking care of sick toddlers is a pain, but it helped me figure out how the universe works.… [more]
You may have been asking yourself “What exactly IS a roundtable and how is this different from… [more]
It Happened to Me
When I was twenty-two, I moved across the country. Dear friends helped me find a gym and the grocery store. They also referred me to their own reputable and time-tested doctors. During the first meeting with my new gynecologist, I found myself in an awkward position – more awkward than lying naked on your back,…
Fun With Anthropomorphism!
My daughter brought home this book today. Listen, I’m a big fan of anthropomorphism (the assigning of human characteristics to animals or inanimate objects)–after all, as a Mom, I’m subjected to it every day on children’s TV. And while I’m certainly dying to know the secret thoughts of tools (“Handy Manny”), candy (“The Gummi Bears”),…
How to Name a Canadian
My friend Jen has the most scrumptious baby boy, with the most scrumptious baby boy name. He is called Quentin, though almost no one actually uses his given name. His mom calls him Coco, and just about everyone else refers to him simply as Q. I know. Awesome. Recently we discussed the idea that I…
Pick Your Battles or Hide Your Toothbrush
I’ve heard that in successful marriages, there are comprises. Though I have only been married to my current husband for 10 years, collectively I have been married 15, and I believe that good behavior during time served in previous matrimony ought to count for something. I did learn something during those years, such as: Don’t…
The Circle of Life, Family and Revenge
I’ve always been the weird and rebellious one in the family… all my relatives have stories about me. I dressed like a freak, always had a smart mouth and was more defiant than what should be humanly possible. If someone told me what I should be doing I would do the opposite. Just because. Or…
My Playboy Pictorial
I was featured in Playboy recently. Oh wait, you didn’t know? Holy crap, where have you been? Well, it’s your lucky day because I’m going to share the juicy bits with you here. Name: Erin Writer/SAHM to three divas/Culinarily-challenged Housewife Extraordinaire Bust: Saline. Waist: Post-baby saggy + FUPA + linea negra + icky belly button Hips: 40ish+ Height: 5’8″…
Straight Mom Looking For Gay People!
I find myself in the arms of a 6′ 2″ God of a man named Atlas. What would my hubby say if he knew? “You go, Girl!” Because I’m dancing in a gay nightclub on Leather Weekend in Palm Springs and Atlas doesn’t play for my team. He’s just using me to attract another hunk…
The Mombie Survival Guide
The Kid didn’t beg exactly, but she was all: “MOM! Please be a room parent.” Which is the equivalent of planning two parties and being a chaperone for her third grade trip. And as much as I want to be there, this does require me to, gasp, deal with Other Mothers. I live smack dab…
