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Believe

Just last night, my best friend and I got into a conversation about finding true love. It was incred[more]

A Free Valentine For All People! (Except Puppy Killers)

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and there are tons of adorable, glitter-y, do-it-you[more]

Sick Kids Disprove Evolutionary Theory

Taking care of sick toddlers is a pain, but it helped me figure out how the universe works.[more]

Non-Conference 101: What is a “Roundtable”?

You may have been asking yourself “What exactly IS a roundtable and how is this different from[more]

Let’s Hope No Kids Google “Santa” in January

Over the past few weeks, I have noticed something about the Facebook status updates from my friends that have older children in regards to Santa. They’re in shock that their children are actually questioning his existence, even when said children are 10-12 years old. I will just come right out and say it: I don’t…

How to Beat the Mean Girl Mom Bloggers at Their Game

I’m nice and you’re nice. Okay, so that makes at least two of us. What do you do when the catty mom bloggers come to the cafeteria? Because, let’s face it, we’ve got cliques galore. We’ve got the memoir bloggers (the cool kids) and the coupon bloggers (chip on the ol’ shoulder) and the crafty…

Llama Saliva and My Imminent Death

My life thus far can be tracked through a steady series of minor inconveniences and odd situations. I never realized I was different in this respect until other people started noticing. I mean we’re talking ridiculous things that normal people shouldn’t have to worry about happening as they go through their day. Combine these with…

Dropping Off Your Loads

I had a vasectomy in December. GoodTimesDotCom. What’s not to like about holding frozen foods to your gonads while watching hours of TV in an opiate-induced stupor? Which, incidentally, might explain the misty eyes at the end of Home Alone. The opiate-induced stupor, that is. Not that I have anything to apologize for. It’s a…

10 Spring 2012 Fashion Trends You Have My Full Permission to Ignore

There are a few trends for Spring 2012 I am hoping 2013 might weed out for us.

10… No, 7 Things I’ve Lost with Mamihood

1. The perky boobs I paid for. I mean, really! I nursed for almost 16 months (in your face, people who told me I couldn’t do it!).  Now my nipples look a little sad, it’s like they’re looking down in shame now that they don’t have a job. We’ve looked in the classified ads but…

Hey, Eyes Up Here

Do your boobs hang low? Can you swing them to and fro? Can you tie ‘em in a knot? Can you tie ‘em in a bow? Do they flip and flop and dangle, Do they wind around your ankles? Can you do the double shuffle? When your boobs hang low? At 21, a friend of…

The Price of Smokey Eyes

Despite my aggressive protests that I would NOT get sucked into Pinterest, I did. Which, of course, everyone knew I would. But I went down kicking and screaming and still having a few spare seconds in my life carved out by abandoning personal hygiene. But now that’s gone too as I spend my time clicking through…

The Idiots Guide to Internet Passwords

I’ve got a kid who is a hacker-in-training. When he was five he figured out my Amazon and Old Navy passwords, got my wallet and ordered himself a camo bathing suit and some video games. Thank goodness for email notifications, eh? What that lesson taught me is that if a five-year-old computer whiz can figure…

The Game Ball and a Fur Coat

I was enrolled in softball, as shown on my Trophy Shelf of Participation.  I even got the game ball.  Oh yes, we won a lot – both years.  But no thanks to me, I assure you.