1. The perky boobs I paid for. I mean, really! I nursed for almost 16 months (in your face, people who told me I couldn’t do it!). Now my nipples look a little sad, it’s like they’re looking down in shame now that they don’t have a job. We’ve looked in the classified ads but [...]
When I was twenty-two, I moved across the country. Dear friends helped me find a gym and the grocery store. They also referred me to their own reputable and time-tested doctors. During the first meeting with my new gynecologist, I found myself in an awkward position – more awkward than lying naked on your back, [...]
I’m making a custom t-shirt. The front will say, “This is MY Hair.” And the back will read, “Nope! NOT Extensions!” I don’t blame people for thinking any black woman with hair beyond her earlobes must have a weave. Let’s face it, if all you know of us is the Chris Rock movie and other [...]
Hi, my name is Julie, and I’m a victim of Circumstantial Shamelessness. I once had plenty of shame. My first pregnancy for example; a time of innocence when I shuddered at the prospect of anyone witnessing me push another person out of my own person; when I imagined even my husband remaining “north of the [...]
I wanted to take a nice picture of my kids for a holiday card. That’s all. I didn’t want them to sit and pose while I painted a reproduction of the Nativity. A sweet photograph of my offspring grinning merrily at the camera was all I was looking for. It was just the spawn, the [...]
I managed to make it to class today wearing an oh so stylish combination of sweatpants, snow boots, and several layers of t-shirts and hoodies. This outfit was the result of having misplaced my coat, an appropriate thing to do in the middle of a Colorado winter. Then my brain thought that the only necessary make-up for [...]
Brothers and Sisters, today we gather together to commemorate the life and death of Ernie the Parakeet. Purchased from the local Petsmart, Ernie quickly became a treasured member of the family. The Boy especially loved Ernie, and, oh, how Ernie loved living in his cage by the TV. Until one sad morning.
I like to think I have some self-awareness. For instance, I know when I am about to say something childish to my husband. This doesn’t mean I refrain, I just know what I am saying is ridiculous. I try to review my behavior periodically; when I think it was a bit questionable and I am [...]
Last May, my three year old was nearing the end of his first year of preschool when, seemingly worn out by nine months of twice weekly two hour play and snack fests, he declared himself ready for summer vacation. I was slightly less than ready and almost forgot to buy his terrific teacher an end-of-the-year [...]
We saw the romantic comedies. We read the books. And here’s the stuff they left out: THE FIRST TRIMESTER: You’ll probably develop carpel tunnel syndrome from spending over an hour a day on Google trying to figure out if those niggling pains in your pelvic area that you’ve been feeling for a few days are [...]
School picture day is fast-approaching, the once-a-year spectacle (twice if you count retakes) of damp, matted-down hair, “The Shirt Mom Picked Out,” and prominently-displayed horse teeth that jut out of small mouths. First off, have you seen what a school picture packet looks like these days? When our 7-year-old brought home his first one a [...]
My husband and I have been visiting a church for about six-ish months or so… As in, we’ve been sitting in the very last bench in the back of the church and have avoided others’ eye contact. We like it though. Over the last few weeks we’ve gotten to know a few families with similarly [...]
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