I Want the Truth

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If you could impress one lesson upon your children, what would it be? A tough question, I know. As parents we teach our children just about every little thing; from using the toilet to expressing gratitude. But if I had to pick one, it would be about honesty. I’ve tried valiantly to instill this quality [...]

A Taste of Summer in the Winter

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I am something of an accidental foodie. I realized this when I found myself picking up INGREDIENTS instead of carry out. I think everything tastes better when I cook it, plus I don’t worry about the expiration date on the chicken at the local greasy spoon. So, yes, the foodie thing may have its roots [...]

The Etiquette of Barking Spiders

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I got a talking-to the other day. My son, Connor, was picking up the splayed cards from his memory game the other night when we heard a noise come from the kitchen, where my husband was making dinner. A barking spider, or at least that’s what it sounded like to us. I was playing around [...]

Pet are Not Philanthropists

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As I was driving to Target the other day, I stopped behind a van with a bumper sticker that said the following: My Dog Gave Blood at ACCES. Just hear me out, people. I am a pet owner. I have always had cats and dogs and one unfortunate stint with mice as a child. I [...]

Plunging Into Peace

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Last night I had dinner all ready to go when my oldest, Izzy, came running in to the kitchen to tell me that the toilet was overflowing. Just a little. Umhum… just a little. It’s overflowing because some people dumped kitty litter down a chute that wasn’t designed for that. As I was plunging, swearing, [...]

Sushi Maki of Horror

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My husband, Mike, and I went early to a sushi restaurant. We’re ahead of our time when it comes to early bird dining. We’re two weeks away from stealing sugar packets from every place we go. We sat at the bar. I heard a tiny voice to my left. A tiny new waitress had her [...]

On Husbands and Alarm Clocks

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So, what is it with husbands and alarm clocks? Specifically, husbands incessantly slapping the snooze button on said alarm clock? At least one of my friends has a husband who suffers from this same affliction (I know your dirty secret, Kev). Yes, I realize ladies are just as capable of this horrific habit. But I’m [...]

Resolution Report Haiku Style

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With new found resolve I’m checking serving sizes after meals and snacks. This is serious. I’m concerned about Hubs’ weight. It’s too close to mine. More than twenty seeds from a single tangerine. I feel accomplished. When you bring the snack clearly mark it GLUTEN FREE so I don’t eat it. Searching Amazon for “_______ [...]

Confessions of a Former Hoarder

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I used to be a hoarder. And by hoarder I mean someone who would surround herself with paper products like magazines with cover lines like, “200 Fashion Tips for the Fashion Foolish,” “101 Great Canapes,” or “The Sexless Marriage: You Decide.”  All of which I was always *thisclose*  to using in my work as a [...]

MothMeal: It’s What’s For Breakfast

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As an ex-zookeeper, things that would make grown men jump on chairs and squeal in fear don’t phase me. What sends me into utter panic, you wonder? Moths. Fat furry flying posers. Things that fly should not be furry, except bats–which are actually flying rats. Mother Nature, fail. One of my New Year’s resolutions is [...]

Toilet Dancing: It’s an Art

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On the main campus, we have all new faucets, toilets, and paper towel dispensers this semester: a wonderful thing indeed. Gone are the days when people had to flush, turn handles, and “pull down” manually. The new fixtures are all motion activated, but the motion has to be extreme or it’s not noticed. What IS [...]

Dealing with OPS (Other People’s Stuff)

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If you live with other people, you are going to have to deal with Other People’s Stuff (OPS). Unless you live in a herd of raging neatnicks, in which case I’m not sure why you’re reading this post. Anyway, the OPS can range from towels on the bathroom floor, bookbags & briefcases left in the [...]