I know what you are thinking; this is just a shocker title. Surely, there is no way that Robin Plemmons would tell someone that you drank pee. And my friend, I would have to tell you that you are wrong. Well that, and to not call me Shirley. Yeah, I know that was totally way [...]
It was just the two of us at lunch yesterday, when my six-year-old announced, “I met a girl at the park.” “Yeah?” Do all young children initiate with teasers? I suspect my child works for Nielsen and tracks the popularity of stories related by six-year-olds. “She asked if I was Mexican.” I realize it’s not [...]
Nothing can toughen up a couple toddlers like hunting down a sea-beast
There are eleventy billion articles about why Disneyworld is awesome. Here’s one about the ways in which it blows.
A new friend of mine showed me a picture of herself back in 1980 or so, wearing a biker jacket, rocking bleached, spiky hair, a safety pin in her ear, and a practiced sneer. Naturally, we had to start comparing punk rock notes. She had lived in London back in the day, as a college [...]
Everyone knows someone–heck, you could be that someone–who thinks that the family pet is actually the family baby. It’s not just childless couples, either. I know one family with four kids–a daughter and three cats. I gotta admit, I think they’re kinda weird. Trying to get all the cats into a family photo is fun [...]
My daughter and I recently spent four days at a Caribbean resort, our first mother-daughter getaway. We bonded over frozen drinks, had our toes painted and shared one or two long cries that ended up bringing us closer together. We came home holding hands and giggling over inside jokes. My husband and son spent the [...]
1. The perky boobs I paid for. I mean, really! I nursed for almost 16 months (in your face, people who told me I couldn’t do it!). Now my nipples look a little sad, it’s like they’re looking down in shame now that they don’t have a job. We’ve looked in the classified ads but [...]
My parents decided to separate when I was 25. My dad put out pita and hummus and poured my sister and me some wine and told us he was leaving. I remember my grandmother calling me shortly thereafter. “Well,” she said, “at least you’re old enough that it doesn’t affect you.” As if there was [...]
Public transportation is wonderful. It’s good for the environment, and I recommend you take it whenever possible. However, I myself am a public transit veteran and thus I feel it is my duty to share with you a few no-nos to keep in mind when on the bus (or train). PLEASE DON’T: Eat sunflower seeds [...]
I wanted to take a nice picture of my kids for a holiday card. That’s all. I didn’t want them to sit and pose while I painted a reproduction of the Nativity. A sweet photograph of my offspring grinning merrily at the camera was all I was looking for. It was just the spawn, the [...]
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