Norovirus, exciting and new.

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It’s time. To the cast of “The Love Boat,” I’m looking at you. It’s time to get the gang back together for made-for-teevee movie magic. You’re the only ones who can save us, the only life raft that can keep us afloat in the choppy waters of good cruises gone bad. Clearly, I’m talking about [...]

Are Relationships All We Have?

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One of my friends, named Hungry Joe, died about a year ago. He was one of the most brilliant (maybe the) men I have ever met. He was afflicted, most likely, with Aspergers. He had a difficult time communicating except through metaphor. For years (and I mean over a dozen), he slept on rooftops in [...]

Computer love gone wrong

computer love gone wrong

I was once wooed by royalty. A prince caught my attention and promised me the world. He obviously knew the package that he wanted to deal with: mother of two, sleep deprived, and face resembling a teenager drowning in hormones. But, he was attracted to my personality! I’ve got that in spades, honey! When I [...]

How To Properly Float Your Fanny Down The Ganny

SAMSUNG

Every spring in the town of Port Hope, Ontario, thousands congregate on the shores of the Ganaraska River to commemorate the devastating flooding of it’s banks in 1980. It’s called Float Your Fanny Down The Ganny, and it’s a good time for everyone. Hundreds of competitors plunge headlong into the river and race to the [...]

The Kinds of People that you Meet on an Airplane

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I took my first ever flight last month. I won’t lie, I was a little nervous about flying for the first time. I wasn’t sure if I would be a bad flier or if it would terrify me and possess me to behave in some ridiculous way. Luckily, it did not. Well, except for the [...]

When Your New BFF Doesn’t Know She Wants To Be Your BFF Yet

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So, you’ve met this mom at 5:30 a.m. CardioPump, and she’s wicked funny and laughs endearingly with her hand over her mouth when the breast-implants-bought-on-a-girls-roadtrip-to-Mexico nasty neighbor up front hits herself in the face with the hand weights. When you see that your new crush’s travel mug reads, “Yeah. I said it. So What,” you [...]

The Aiming Low Inner Sanctum

Radio Station

So this is the place!  The Aiming Low inner sanctum.  I’ve always wondered what it was like in here. I’ve been looking through the windows from the Guest Post room. Longingly. Hang on a moment while I have a look around. Wow…they’ve got snacks in here. Hershey’s from NonCon…I’ll just stuff these peanut butter cups [...]

Looks Like We Made It

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By the time you read this, we will have said goodbye to 2012 and will be taking our first tentative steps into 2013. I am relieved to have survived the Mayan apocalypse as well as our own personal Pre-Christmas Curse which began with a skull fracture on December 23rd in 2011 and continued with this [...]

A Christmas Tradition That Won’t Sap Me of My Very Lifeblood

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Does the Christmas spirit of others make you want to lie in bed all day long?

Monarchy and the Making of Amaydeekah

Fake Ben Franklin looking full on gangster in front of the Declaration of Independence.

Have I mentioned before that I was the first person my family to be born in America? I’m the only one in my family who can be president because I was actually born here. I have no intention of running for president, of course, because, think about it, if I were president right now, I [...]

The Stigma on My Upper Lip

Dirtball at preschool pickup.

Ask me about my mustache!

7 Tips for Post Blog Conference Survival

@littleanimation, or JC and I snuggling. Right in front of her husband, @thehuzofjc even

Now that it’s been a few weeks since the infamous Aiming Low Noncon, it’s time to talk about how I’ve survived. I mean, seriously. I’ve had to live without The People of Noncon (yes, that’s a new Nation), and it has been… difficult. I’ve had to get up and do stuff. Stuff other than looking [...]