She couldn’t have asked for something easy? Like a fluffy pink flying puppy with purple spots?

My five year old daughter was writing her letter to Santa at the kitchen table the other day while I was in the middle of my annual Holy-Hell-Why-Do-I-Put-Myself-Through-This-Every-Year Holiday Baking Extravaganza Meltdown (TM).  Since she’s five her spelling skills can only be described as sucky (the slacker) so I was helping her out with some [...]

Maybe Not THAT Low

File this under “Sex and the Newly Single Mom.” Or, “How Your Mom Can Really Screw Up Your Screwing.” After years of being married to a man who was not deaf, but played one on TV… I mean… in our relationship, I’m too easily impressed when someone actually remembers anything I say.

I Martyr Myself For His Love

The Palinode, my spouse of nine-and-a-half years, likes to play fast and loose with his personal safety at times. One moment, we can be having the nicest conversation over dinner or while on a walk, and the next he’s tempting me to suffocate him with my hand.

How You Know the Romance is Gone

Since it seems we have a bit of a relationship theme today here at Aiming Low (which I know, of course, in my all-seeing capacity as editor) AND my darling husband and I just celebrated 18 years of being together (so hard to believe, right? I was, like, five years old when we got together), [...]

Curious Incident of the Public Toenail

One night at dinner my husband mentioned an ingrown toenail. At the dinner table. While we were eating dinner. In case there is any question about what we were doing at the dinner table at the time he mentioned his ingrown toenail, we were eating. Dinner. A little known but important fact to know for [...]

I loved her very much & uh, yada, yada?

A few months ago, I went to the funeral of a friend’s mother. The woman was only seventy-four years old. I say “only” because as I approach my 46th birthday, I realize I have to. It’s that or lie in bed all day, crying knowing that my possibilities are not endless, they’ve ended. Anyway, as [...]

What the hell am I doing here?

Since I’m one of the new kids here, and the token dude on the writing staff, I guess I had better ‘splain myself a little bit.  The general information is in my bio.  What I really want to do here is tell you how I see myself fitting in at Aiming Low.  Maybe by the end [...]

Confessions of a Classic Lover

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I currently drive a 20-year-old Volvo 240. No computer chips, no fancy power seats. My car is simple. I’m the only person I know that appreciates the character of a car that has seen a lot of people through life. I don’t mind the cracked plastic, the missing knobs and a driver’s seat that leans [...]

Because I Am Awesome, Too

So, I have this husband who has this really pesky habit of being… well, awesome. And you’d think being awesome was, well, awesome. And it is. Except for some of the time.

One And Done

I walked in the front door sifting through the mail. A bill, another bill, catalog, credit card offer, reminder to make an appointment for a teeth cleaning, another bill and something from a lab somewhere here in California.  Having been raised Jewish with a mother who is only happy when she is either going to [...]

EZPZ: Christmas Ham Recipe From The Old Testament

1. Go to local grocery store to buy a ham. 2. Get to store and realize you’re Jewish and have no clue what constitutes a good ham. 3. Decide to leave because you are having Christians over for Christmas Eve dinner and you don’t want to blow this one considering these particular Christians are your [...]

The Subtext of a Text

I hear that familiar bleep sound from my beloved blackberry (don’t hate me) and I find myself reaching into my bra strap while I was rounding the last isle towards the checkout in our local market. Only two people saw me, only one had a smirk. I check it, the phone still warm from its [...]