There are eleventy billion articles about why Disneyworld is awesome. Here’s one about the ways in which it blows.
Relationships
The When Harry Met Sally Principle
My husband and I had a date night last weekend. It was the third time we’d been out without our infant son, and so naturally we were trying to drink as much as possible before the bill arrived, or we were summoned back home to an inconsolable baby, whichever came first. We were on new…
Bullying: Was it Worse When You Were a Kid?
A new friend of mine showed me a picture of herself back in 1980 or so, wearing a biker jacket, rocking bleached, spiky hair, a safety pin in her ear, and a practiced sneer. Naturally, we had to start comparing punk rock notes. She had lived in London back in the day, as a college…
Boycotting Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is to love what New Year’s Eve is to partying. Only without Dick. Clark, that is. Dick Clark. For everyone’s favorite octogenarian has nothing to do with Valentine’s Day. Which is probably a good thing. You know, since the last thing you’d wanna hear on Valentine’s Day is the documentation of a descending…
I Wish You Were (Disney) Dead
To every mother who has had to endure a child’s petulant outburst “I wish you were dead!”: I feel your pain. Apparently, our spawn did not receive the memo clearly stating that their express purpose in life is to worship the woman who bore them. For you moms, I would like to offer the “I…
How Babies are Made
The scene: a tiny travel trailer where a family of four lives, works, dresses and undresses within close proximity of each other–aka my home. I was changing clothes one morning and realized I’d accidentally flashed my fairly modest 12-year-old son. “Oops, sorry about that kid,” I said as I turned around to finish getting dressed…
Better Than Sex
Picture a living room with a TV set on too loud in the background. A wife (me) is sitting on one sofa typing on a laptop, a husband (mine) is lounging on another sofa eating the last bit of a chocolate chip cookie made by the wife (me). Husband: Mmmm, man these are good… I’ll…
Ten Easy Steps To Making a Baby (By Alex, Aged 4)
Get a Mommy and a Daddy. Have them love and love and love each other a lot. Check! That’s it, no more love.
