I shouldn’t be glad he hit the baby’s head against the stove. Maybe glad isn’t the right word. Smug might be more like it. We give Ryan his baths on the kitchen counter, you see. We do this because my back cannot handle the low tub with the high side. I tried it a few times and spent all of bath [...]
I know that I’m lucky to have traveled as much as I already have in my life. The thing of it is though, once you’ve had a taste, the need to see new places, savor new food and view the world from 38,000 feet suctions on to your brain like an octopus on a large, [...]
You’re not going to catch me lying about being a large lady. In Sir Mix-a-Lot land, I’ve got back and then some. Rap guys, apparently, like me. Becky? Not so much. Bitch. Being fat can be pretty awesome. Sure, it’s not awesome when I drop, say, a penny. But who needs a penny? See a [...]
When I was a young woman of 28, I got a job in a local government agency (name withheld to protect the bureaucratic). It was a good job by any standard. I was in a position to help people and the salary and benefits were nothing to shake a stick at. When I started, a [...]
My husband is away on a fishing trip. He is sunning himself somewhere in southern India attempting to catch some type of fish I have never heard of, and cannot begin to spell, on an equally unpronounceable river. I am left at home holding the non-proverbial baby and a 5-year-old. As it happens, I’m not [...]
I remember being a kid and using a flashlight under my blankets to sneak extra reading time. Those stories just couldn’t be put away, so I stuck my head under the comforter and lost myself in the sweat, words and precariously held light. I was doing it with Bobbsey Twins when I was little. It [...]
Dogs are called man’s best friend for a reason. Some folks like them because they are constant companions. Some because they are a part of the family (and never tell me I look fat). Others enjoy participating in athletic pursuits with their pups. But most people would never admit to one of my favorite reasons. [...]
I guess some couples don’t change much after they have children. They’re still the same crazy, lovey-dovey kids they always were. Screw those guys. My wife and I are technically the same people we were when we met twenty years ago. We’re just twenty years older. And we have two kids who are almost three [...]
A few years ago, I really didn’t understand internet dating. I suppose I felt superior picking both my husbands the old fashioned way–drunk, at a bar. I had difficulty understanding the process of scrolling through bios and glamour shots, starting conversations, and moving to the next level. It all seemed so contrived. I did not believe [...]
I thought I’d help the menfolk out this year with ideas on how to make your wife feel special on Mother’s Day (which, by the way, is May 13–missing it entirely would not be wise). A quick perusal of flickr using the terms “husband wife connect” gave me some lovely visual inspiration–and a lot of [...]
I have two things in common with Oprah: 1) I believe in the importance of the right bra and 2) I am a billionaire media mogul. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I am excited about bras right now. The farther away I get from nursing Simon, the more I’m remembering all the great things that can [...]
A bunch of the ladies in my neighborhood went out this weekend and did one of those Tough Mudder 5K obstacle course things. You know, you run, then you climb over walls and crawl under barbed wire in mud and then you run some more? One of those. I think it goes without saying that [...]
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