Christmas Cookies of Dysfunction

Given that the majority of what I write about centers around parenthood, it’s something of a job requirement for me to keep up with all the hippest trends, hottest gadgets, and biggest news in the world of parenting in order to find new material. Every morning I open up an RSS page containing the latest [...]

Kicking the Evil Eye Makeup Remover Habit

**DISCLAIMER – This is SATIRE y’all. Do not actually use magic erasers to remove makeup. Duh. ** I’m not exactly the queen of makeup. I try, but I usually end up looking like that half sister you don’t want to bring on your girl’s night out. Or that gypsy woman at the fair – you [...]

YER DOING IT WRONG: Advice, Aiming Low Style

This is our inaugural advice column. Hope you enjoy. Dear YER DOING IT WRONG: “Ok, real life question. Let’s say you hosted a party Sunday night for 30 of your closest friends (12 of them children).  The next day, your kid comes down with something contagious and gross like pinkeye. What’s the proper protocol? Do [...]

Confessions of a Classic Lover

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I currently drive a 20-year-old Volvo 240. No computer chips, no fancy power seats. My car is simple. I’m the only person I know that appreciates the character of a car that has seen a lot of people through life. I don’t mind the cracked plastic, the missing knobs and a driver’s seat that leans [...]

It’s all the in color of a light

Each year when the snow starts to fall one of my favorite pastimes is to drive around and look at all of the Christmas lights adorning people’s houses. We pick out our favorites and the ones in which we wonder why anyone thought what they did was a good idea. We sip on coffee in [...]

$20 Says You Like Me Best

I can almost guarantee that you will like me best. It’s not my smooth lines.  (Have you ever seen me on Twitter?) It’s not my sexy moves.  (All the girls with good parking spots get the hot guys!) It’s not even my ROCKIN’ ride. (Really, come on!!!!)

How Aiming Low saved our Thanksgiving

With a name like Domestic Extraordinaire you would think that my house is always clean, hot meals are on the table every night, and that I look forward to making every holiday meal. You would think wrong.

I swear to be uncouth & nothing but uncouth, so help me God.


People & dudes! How the hell are ya? Have any strange rashes lately? No? Good for you! Remember, don’t be silly, cover your willy. As you can see, I’m new here, but I am feeling right at home amidst all the fart jokes and drinking and stale french fries in the couch cushions. It’s a [...]

Fake Plastic Trees (of the Non-Radiohead variety)


Holidays are rough and out of all the holidays Christmas is probably the toughest to get through.  The shopping, the decorating, the shopping, the baking, the cooking, the shopping, the wrapping, the relatives, the mutha-effing SHOPPING… It’s enough to make a relatively… Okay sort of… Kind of..? on a good day with proper medication and [...]

A Flaming Grab Bag of Goodness

Of course I know that I’m supposed to want to take care of myself. That’s why I get annoyed when well meaning people (read: mother) incessantly tell me I need to take care of myself. I.KNOW.UGH.GAWD. What mom doesn’t want to accept people don’t know, is that I’m in the midst of a full on [...]

I’m Supposed To Talk Nice About Everyone (Key Phrase Being “Supposed”)

There was this fabulous moment with the new writers where we contemplated the first new posts. Should they write a “Hello!”, acknowledge they were part of a brand new chapter, tell the world that they chose to write in their underwear and to the music styling of Karen Carpenter. Um. Well. If you want to. [...]

Angels at Kroger

Today I have a very special tribute to three individuals at Kroger whose names I dont even know. But you made a difference in my life, and I want to spend a minute acknowledging you today. You see, on Sunday, as my wife worked hard to help the sick children in her care at the [...]