My husband is away on a fishing trip. He is sunning himself somewhere in southern India attempting to catch some type of fish I have never heard of, and cannot begin to spell, on an equally unpronounceable river. I am left at home holding the non-proverbial baby and a 5-year-old. As it happens, I’m not [...]
I remember being a kid and using a flashlight under my blankets to sneak extra reading time. Those stories just couldn’t be put away, so I stuck my head under the comforter and lost myself in the sweat, words and precariously held light. I was doing it with Bobbsey Twins when I was little. It [...]
I have two things in common with Oprah: 1) I believe in the importance of the right bra and 2) I am a billionaire media mogul. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I am excited about bras right now. The farther away I get from nursing Simon, the more I’m remembering all the great things that can [...]
A bunch of the ladies in my neighborhood went out this weekend and did one of those Tough Mudder 5K obstacle course things. You know, you run, then you climb over walls and crawl under barbed wire in mud and then you run some more? One of those. I think it goes without saying that [...]
I recently went to a movie and it occurred to me that everyone might have overslept when the rules for attending a movie were announced. So I’m taking it as my personal goal to spread movie theater etiquette far and wide. You’ll help me, won’t you? I won’t lie to you (much), but before we [...]
Fifteen minutes away from school with five minutes until a golf practice that’s twenty minutes away from school. “Late” wasn’t even really where I was. I was in a place called “panicking over being late for golf practice.” I kicked myself in the butt for choosing a school that didn’t emulate a fast food joint [...]
There are a number of blogs out there–over half a million in fact. Many of these blogs are started with the naive intent to become rich and famous. Let’s famous it, we’d all love to get paid 6 figures (or even 3 figures) to play on the computer all day. After all, isn’t playing on [...]
I’ve accepted that women no longer find me irresistible. But men? Really?
Health-o-Meter Digital Scale: Long time, no see. Me: Yeah, whatever. Just give me the damage. Health-o-Meter Digital Scale: … … … Me: Hello? Health-o-Meter Digital Scale: I’m still thinking… it takes awhile to count that high. Me: Shut up. Are you finished yet? Health-o-Meter Digital Scale: Maybe I’d be able to think better if a.) [...]
I have never been a fan of exercise and I am not much of an athlete. Yes, I played volleyball in junior high, but I could never get past the stinky knee pads. And yes, I played rugby in college but that seemed to be more about running away from people, being driven into the [...]
I have a history of some pretty nasty back issues. They started when I was rear-ended by a drunk driver seven months pregnant. My seat collapsed back and my car was totaled. No major physical damage to me, you know, except for two herniated discs, a sprained wrist and a sprained ankle. No worries, baby was [...]
Saturday I screamed the F-word at my husband. Twice. The two expletives may or may not have been connected to “what the…” and “…you!” In my defense I thought that BECAUSE OF HIM we were going to miss the one train out of The Grand Canyon where we’d enjoyed ourselves for three days with our [...]
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