Trading Blackboards for BlackBerries: Little Kids and the BlackBerry PlayBook


Two kinds of professionals make me nervous: teachers and cops. In the interest of my not getting arrested, let’s talk teachers. In the seventh grade, I had a history teacher that dictated the outline of each chapter of our American history book while also writing it on the blackboard. Like this: I. Causes for the American [...]

Before Our Phones Were Smart


Frequently, I find myself wondering how life was conducted before there were smartphones. This is particularly troubling as I was alive at a time when they did not exist. I didn’t have a cell phone to myself before college. Prior to that, I shared one with my dad and sister for emergencies only. Before that, [...]

Why I Stopped Using Internet Explorer


Why should you take technical advice from me? Short answer: You shouldn’t; I don’t know what I’m talking about. Still, that does not stop me from having opinions. You see, although I am not a techie in real life, I play one online. I’m the go-to IT person in my home. (I suck, but I’m [...]

11 Things You Always Wanted To Know About Me But Were Afraid to Ask

What do you MEAN you don't like dogs???  INCONCEIVABLE!

I loves me a top ten list. Except, I go to eleven, so there are eleven things on my list. Because sometimes you just need that extra push. Eleven is one louder. And I’m loud. BOY AM I LOUD. Like, no volume button really. It’s OFF or ON. Anywho, I compiled a list of things [...]

Happy Birthday to Message Boards!


Internet message forums turn 34 today. This essentially means that our generation doesn’t know a world without message boards–they have always just been there like the mustard in the back of your fridge, the date of purchase for which you can’t remember. (Dude. It came with the house.) Conceived in a blizzard by two nerds in [...]

From Zero to Addict in 24 Hours

Look. I have used both "poo" and "dung". Heh. I told you I was predictable.

My friend and personal trainer is one of those people that plays Scrabble on her phone all of the time. Yesterday, I finally made the mistake. I asked her who she plays against. Whoever she knows that has the Scrabble app. What? I have the Scrabble app. I’ve been playing against the computer. I didn’t [...]

Hello, My Name Is Schmutzie, and I Love Animated GIFs


It’s a truth I’m getting used to. I watch dancing babies on lunch breaks. I laugh at puppies popping balloons with their teeth. I think fat guys that act like seals are hilarious.

5 Movies from the 80s I’ve Never Seen. Don’t You Judge Me.


You can’t believe I haven’t seen them. Sometimes, I can’t believe I haven’t seen them because you’re so incredulous that I haven’t seen them. Some of the so-called greatest 80s movies, LIKE-OMG-EVER. And that’s exactly how you say it, too. The Goonies. I KNOW. I just haven’t gotten around to seeing it because it’s like “a [...]

Reply All is Not the Devil

Reply All is Not the Devil

Many a spooky story is told about people using the reply all functionality on an email when they meant to send a snarky comment to just one person. Naturally, the offenders are then tormented and humiliated and sometimes even tarred and feathered for their technological mishap. Stories of these blunders have everyone so scared that [...]

How to Deal with Negative Blog Comments

How to Deal with Negative Comments

Over the course of a blogging career, there certain things that we will likely all encounter. Spam, for instance, is almost sure to find its way into your inbox. Similarly, it is almost inevitable that you will eventually get a comment that accuses you of being less than human. This comment will both hurt you [...]

Aiming True

Aiming True Bulls Eye.

This year I resolve to: Dance as if no one’s watching… Sing as if no one’s listening. Aim as if …meh. Don’t even bother aiming.

10 Signs Your Child is Not a Genius After All

I look...delicious!

Like most mothers, I spend a lot of time thinking that my children are the brightest, deepest, most creative and perceptive boys one could possibly have, potty-training issues aside. And they are. But there are times when even I doubt their capacity for genius. For example: I try to teach him how to blow a [...]