There are eleventy billion articles about why Disneyworld is awesome. Here’s one about the ways in which it blows.
Family
The Meat Snob
I’m a meat snob. That’s right. A meat snob. For two reasons. First, it doesn’t make sense to me to eat anything other than the finest cut of red meat available. And second, rightly or wrongly, I consider myself to be a meat-grilling expert and you wouldn’t give Picasso a bunch of shitty crayons to work with, would…
Bullying: Was it Worse When You Were a Kid?
A new friend of mine showed me a picture of herself back in 1980 or so, wearing a biker jacket, rocking bleached, spiky hair, a safety pin in her ear, and a practiced sneer. Naturally, we had to start comparing punk rock notes. She had lived in London back in the day, as a college…
I Wish You Were (Disney) Dead
To every mother who has had to endure a child’s petulant outburst “I wish you were dead!”: I feel your pain. Apparently, our spawn did not receive the memo clearly stating that their express purpose in life is to worship the woman who bore them. For you moms, I would like to offer the “I…
How Babies are Made
The scene: a tiny travel trailer where a family of four lives, works, dresses and undresses within close proximity of each other–aka my home. I was changing clothes one morning and realized I’d accidentally flashed my fairly modest 12-year-old son. “Oops, sorry about that kid,” I said as I turned around to finish getting dressed…
Guilt In the Age of Modern Parenting
I don’t know what my mother felt guilty for. Given that it was the 70’s it could have been getting divorced, having to work, making us wear plaid wool blends. It’s hard to know. But I’m quite certain that now, forty years later, guilt has evolved in all kinds of interesting ways. The things I…
Ten Easy Steps To Making a Baby (By Alex, Aged 4)
Get a Mommy and a Daddy. Have them love and love and love each other a lot. Check! That’s it, no more love.
Never Too Much
I stockpile. I stockpile EVERYTHING. It drives my husband crazy, but he has come to accept it and he usually makes a joke about it now. I am waiting, as I type this, for him to find the 3 additional munchkin teethers that arrived today. Aiven liked the first one so much, that I though…
