About Robin Plemmons

Robin Plemmons is an artist. She makes greeting cards in her own funky handwriting that say things like, "Congratulations on making a human with your genitals!" & "I hope you washed your crotch because I'm about to put my face in it." You can find them in her Etsy Shop. She blogs at ballstothewallyall.com & tweets like a horny hyena. Follow her if you like that kind of thing: @robinplemmons.

My Name is Robin Plemmons & These Are Fun Words To Yell


Hello, people on Earth who are reading these words. The last time I was talking on your screen, I got a little serious about inhaling & exhaling for peace. So to balance that out, here is something stupid & entirely obnoxious. I know I said that THERE WILL BE DANCING (& maybe corn dogs) but apparently [...]

My Name is Robin Plemmons & This is a Vlog About Breathing


Hello, friends on the internet! Last week I gave you jiggly nonsense. This week I thought I’d give you some skills for living. I also show you a picture of my large baby & talk about your potentially tense butt hole. Next week? THERE WILL BE DANCING & maybe some corn dogs. Thank you for [...]

My Name is Robin Plemmons & This is a Vlog.

Photo on 12-20-12 at 11.13 PM #3

Hello! I’m Robin Plemmons & this is the start of a beautiful thing. I will be vlogging here at Aiming Low every week & bringing all sorts of video nonsense to your screen. This one is an edited compilation of my many failed attempts of introducing myself, along with little snippets of me dancing deliriously [...]

Do-It-Yourself Personalized Art For Your Kid


I’m a work-at-home-mom and artist and every day my three-year-old daughter, Ruby, watches me paint. And every day she asks me repeatedly, “Whatchoo doing, Mommy? Whatchoo painting, Mommy?” She is endlessly curious and at the age where she just wants to get her hands on everything. So, I happily oblige. This is a spontaneous painting [...]

A Free Valentine For All People! (Except Puppy Killers)


Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and there are tons of adorable, glitter-y, do-it-yourself Valentine tutorials making the rounds on the internets. I’m all for handmade but I know that a LOT of us just don’t have the kind of time to cut out doilies and get glitter all over the damn place. So, [...]

A Last-Minute Gift For People Who Make Love


Let me guess, you forgot about the thing. The thing where you NEED a quick gift that looks and feels like you put a lot of effort into it. Either it’s Valentine’s Day or it’s your lover’s birthday or you just need something sexy yet funny and not awkward to take to a lingerie shower. [...]

3 Fun (& Non-Sucky) Ways to Use Contact Paper


Every once in awhile I’ll discover something and become obsessed. This happened with Shrinky Dinks, slim-sized tampons, and DC Talk’s rap album. My latest obsession? White contact paper. I picked up a roll at Target for $5.74 and have used the shit out of it. I’m on my 2nd roll–that’s how serious this is. If [...]

13 Steps To Looking Unbelievably Attractive In Photos


It’s December, 2011. We live in a time where, if we engage in any internet communications, we must have a non-naked, mostly sober photo or two of ourselves. This can be a daunting task for some. Here are  13 easy steps to looking your best in photos. 

How To Make Shrinky Dink Ornaments


You know what’s fun as hell? Shrinky Dinks. I never really knew just how fun they were until a couple weeks ago when I shrunk my first dink. That shit was big and then when I put it in the oven, it got LITTLE. It’s like magic right before your damn eyes. People are making [...]

How to Read a Magazine Like an A-hole

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One of my favorite things to do at the end of the day is to take off my (white but looks nude from age) bra, pour myself a giant ass glass of (cheap but effective) vino, and lounge in my bed with a stack of shiny magazines. It’s a small indulgence of mine… flipping through [...]

6 Best Private Part Pins on Pinterest


I’ll just go ahead and admit it. I’m in love with Pinterest. I kinda want to make out heavily with it and take it out for a nice seafood dinner. If you’re the type of person who is visually stimulated, this site is like crack for your eyeballs. You’ll find funny shit and crafty shit [...]

How To Give The Best Gift Ever. (Besides Orgasms.)


Y’all, it’s November! You know what that means? We’re getting bombarded with lots and lots of red and green shit. And fancy electronic shit. And cheesy jewelry shit. And plastic dolls who actually shit. That’s a lot of shit. For some, Christmas has turned into what I like to call a “clusterfuck.” Scrambling to obtain [...]