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Maria Melee

Viruses and Vampires

by Maria Melee

on August 16, 2010 in Identity

My husband and I got home from BlogHer at 1 am on Sunday morning. On the drive home, my mom mentioned that the baby was having a lot of runny diapers. “Probably teething,” I yawned. Then he pooped the next day like five times. And it smelled like hazardous waste that had been left on [...]

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Panic and Packing

by Maria Melee

on August 3, 2010 in Identity

Usually I’m a gigantic psycho about planning for a trip. I make lists on the fridge and on my counter and I pack my overnight bag ahead of time to make sure I have my contact lens stuff and birth control. (I have recurring nightmares about going on awesome trips without my toiletries.)

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How to Go to a Theme Park With Your Kids

by Maria Melee

on July 21, 2010 in EZPZ
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Once you have kids, you can’t visit theme parks just for the rollercoasters and draft beer. You also have to remember to plan beyond “having cash to pay for parking.” Here are some of my tips for hanging out at a theme park with your kids: Bring an adult. This can be your spouse, a [...]

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How Many Backyardigans Songs do you Know by Heart?

by Maria Melee

on June 29, 2010 in We Like Stuff

Do you remember NOT being annoyed by children’s television? I do. It began the first time I saw The Backyardigans. My son was about 15 months old, and my husband was away on business travel. The Pirate Treasure episode came on one morning as I got ready for work.

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I Know You Like to Think That Your Sh!t Don’t Stink

by Maria Melee

on June 21, 2010 in Identity

A few years ago, I worked for a web design company out of my boss’s home office. Most of the time, the setup was pretty sweet. Fridge to keep my lunch in, coffee brewing in the morning, parking spot like 12 feet from my desk. But when it came time to use the uh, facilities, things got a little uncomfortable.

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Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

by Maria Melee

on June 16, 2010 in Parenting

I’m addicted to hotel rooms. (The nice kind, not the crappy kind.) (The crappy kind being the Bambi Motel in Gainesville where a night’s stay could be had for $30 cash and the nice family who lived in the front office didn’t bother asking you for your ID.)

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How to Make a Collage Frame for Father’s Day

by Maria Melee

on June 16, 2010 in EZPZ

My husband and I have made a pact not to spend money on each other for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Instead, we make a point of allowing the other person to pretty much sleep and/or eat all day long. Our kids aren’t exempt from present-giving though. I’m not what you would call crafty, unless [...]

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Qu’est-ce que c’est? Better Run Run Run

by Maria Melee

on June 3, 2010 in Identity

So I’ve been trying to work out lately. (And by lately, I mean three times so far.) It’s a pretty big deal, since I hate exercising and hate being sore and hate being out of breath. But I also hate having stress and anxiety and sleep issues and I’m still trying to deal with them without getting on meds because I’m nursing and convinced that I’ll get every side effect known to man

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A Nite to Remember

by Maria Melee

on May 20, 2010 in Identity
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Once in a while I’m all, oh man, I’m a blogger. People read my blog and stuff. And for like five minutes, my head gets all inflated and I expect some stranger to recognize me and either tell me that they’re offended or tell me that my face looks just like my face does on Twitter.

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I’d Never Let My Child Act Like That

by Maria Melee

on May 3, 2010 in Parenting

Do you remember being young and single? Dodging children at the mall, casting annoyed looks at the kid whining in a restaurant? Dreading being anywhere near a baby on an airplane? Sometimes I still catch myself being annoyed by a child’s behavior. Those old lines of thinking slip back into place briefly. “Why don’t they discipline her?” “I’d never let my child act like that.”

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