About Linda Roy

Linda is a writer/musician with a Peter Pan Petty complex, a guitar toting husband, two boys and pug dependency issues. She’s grateful that the word “snark” has been introduced into the vernacular since people just used to know her as “the chick with the bad attitude”.  She feels strangely akin to Larry David and will criticize your parallel parking abilities to prove it. She blogs at elleroy was here and fronts the Indie Americana band Jehova Waitresses.  She also writes at Lefty Pop and Funny Not Slutty. Connect with her on TwitterFacebook and Google+

Lorde: The Thinking Girl’s Pop Star

Lorde

photo: the guardian This past weekend, something unexpected happened. In the midst of a music industry rife with female pop stars willing to trade on their looks, who release predictable material and perform them provocatively, a relative unknown (until recently) New Zealander not only gave an inspired and powerfully commanding performance of her hit song Royals, [...]

Word To the Gamers In Your Life From Your Mama Del Roy: Video Games

Video Games music by Lana DelRey lyrics by Linda Roy Lyrics by Mama Del Roy Music by Lana Del Rey You haven’t seen our backyard Don’t make me stop this car Callin’ out my name “Mom get me a root beer, bring it over here I’m playing video games” Hurry up and get dressed You’re [...]

Boys Are Stinky: Proceed With Caution and Nose Plugs

mushroom-cloud

Boys are cute. Boys can be intriguing. Boys are also stinky. I live in a household full of boys with only a cat and dog to commiserate with. Which is fine. Mostly. After all, I’ve been in rock bands with boys – stinky, foul mouthed, messy boys – for most of my adult life.  I’m [...]

It’s Two Days After Christmas…A Totally Exhausted Poem

                                image credit It’s Two Days After Christmas ‘Tis two days after Christmas and all through the house Shit’s strewn everywhere and there’s wine on my blouse The kids in their snuggles tucked up in their beds While visions of flame throwers [...]

Pottery Barn Teen Dream: Don’t Ever Look Back

balls

And…sort of in the words of Katy Perry… You make me feel Like I’m livin’ a PB Teen dream The way you taunt me with What I can’t afford I wanna charge it  And never look back, Don’t ever look back… The PB Teen catalogue just arrived. I need to tell you that this excites [...]

TLUI – (Thanksgiving Leftovers Under the Influence)

Schaefer_turkey

It’s the day after  Thanksgiving, which means quality time has been spent with family. “Quality” being a relative term. We’ve all got coping mechanisms – like hitting the sauce.  And I’m not talking cranberries. When the blessed sound of Aunt Edna’s muffler scraping the pavement on her way home hits your eardrums, on go the [...]

CAUTION: The News Could Be Hazardous To Your Health

old-woman-smoking-sandy-powers

I have a love/hate thing with the news. I’m not talking about politics on the cable news networks, but the nightly network news.  I consider myself a responsible grown up.  I keep up with all the happenings around the globe. I bone up on the latest injustices and horrors going on around the planet.  Usually Anderson [...]

Is That You, Woody?

medium_2206829095

Ah, Fall, the greatest of seasons. I completely embrace that unbridled, yet never realized, Rockwellian ideal of Autumn. Pumpkin everything until you want to spit the seeds at a nun. But when it begins … you kiss your kiddies goodbye as they climb the steps of the bus, you ceremoniously high-five your spouse and venture [...]

Getting Served By the Mopey Dicks At Starbucks

photo: Instant.ly

Midday prostration begins to rear its ugly downturned head many miles and hours to go until I am reunited with my beloved single cup home brew.  On a particularly trying day befitting the choice of a comforting cup of something that will strain my wallet, if not my sensibilities, the local donut shop is passed [...]

What Do You Want To Be? (When You Grow Up…)

Me Inner Sanctum

If I’d planned on growing up, I guess I’d have chosen to be something like a a nurse, a teacher, or maybe a public servant. You know, something that changes lives and really matters. But since I have an incurable Peter Pan complex, I’ve always wanted to do something in the arts. And it could [...]

Navigating Life. Gollum Style

Gollum-Smeagol-smeagol-gollum-14076781-960-403

We LOVE everything!  We HATE everything! Alas, a new year has arrived and what was my first thought upon waking? Gollum. “What’s Gollum got to do with anything?” you ask? We were watching “The Hobbit” the other night and had a couple of revelations.  One, that my youngest son is a lot like Gollum/Smeagol when [...]

The Dating Game, With Your Host – Christopher. Fuckin’. Walken.

The hat is passed and it’s my turn to retrieve the scrap of paper that reveals my scene partner. It’s Tim and the scene is from “Look Back In Anger”. This is actually perfect. There is an intriguing intensity about him, not to mention that he’s really cute. But I’m a professional. I’m here to [...]